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Monthly Archives: January 2011

Why We Find “Make Money Quick!” Promises Such a Turn-off

In speaking to many of my coaching and consulting friends in the past few months, I’ve noticed that the folks I’m most connected with — those with whom I share the most emotional, spiritual and behavioral common ground – are all feeling the same way about the trend we’ve seen during the recession of marketers offering promises like these:

–          Double your income in weeks!
–          Recession-proof your practice!
–          Earn six figures now!
–          Kiss your money worries goodbye!
–          Make money while you sleep!

And so on…

Why do some of these marketing programs make us sit up and pay attention, and others make us press “delete” before we read the tenth word?

As a women’s researcher and a marketing consultant, I myself am offering an ongoing marketing success program for women coaches, consultants and practitioners called Prosperity Marketing Mindset.  I believe that this program helps you name and claim greater success and fulfillment on terms that meaningful to you.  But I make no promises of doubling your money, making money while you sleep, recession-proofing your practice, or finding a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.  I’m careful about what I indicate are the potential outcomes of this program.  I feel that I can authentically and with integrity back up what I’m saying are the probable outcomes, with proven results.

Of course, most of us want to make more money, but the key outcome we want in making more money is doing what we love and doing it with more ease.  Many of us come from a place of wanting to give what we love to give, and we’re NOT drawn to making more money through constructing empty, inauthentic passive revenue projects, affiliation schemes, programs and partnerships that don’t, in the end, bring us closer to what we love to do.

In the wonderful book The Energy of Money (highly recommended), author Maria Nemeth shares this:

“We are all happiest when we are demonstrating in the physical reality what we know to be true about ourselves, when we are giving form to our Life’s Intentions in a way that contributes to others.

I think that this statement sums it up so beautifully and powerfully.  The folks I resonate with want to:

  • Create in life and work that which reflects what they know to be true about themselves
  • Honor their Life Intentions (truest visions and goals) in ways that serve others
  • Make great money doing what they love
  • Expand themselves in the process of being of service

If we can stretch ourselves to do the above better, more effectively and with greater ease, now we’re talking!

So what makes some money messages highly distasteful and a complete turn-off, and others more authentic, believable and compelling? 

Here are five ingredients I’ve found in inauthentic money promises that make us want to run:

1)  They talk about shifting yourself to double your income as if it can happen tomorrow – and in most people’s experience, it’s a process that takes a good deal of time

2)   They promise that because others have done it you can do it too in the same way – and that’s just not always the case.  Financial success is a unique and specialized journey based on the individual’s needs, desires, beliefs, and visions.

3)  They focus on money to the exclusion of other factors that go into creating success, fulfillment, reward, and results

4)  They hold up money as the ultimate outcome we desire – whereas being of service that reflects our Life Intentions is the true outcome we want

5) They ring of self-service – not of uplifting messages that will help US

Coaches, consultants, practitioners, and others who come from the heart want to be of service in the largest way possible, while earning a living that reflects what we know to be true about ourselves.  It’s simple but not easy, and we know it.  There are challenging steps involved in clearing and stretching us to be able to give of ourselves in a healthy and generous way, and strike a beautiful balance with the energy of money.

In the end, it’s vitally important to embrace messages that feel authentic and compelling to you.  Please don’t worry that’s something wrong with you (or that you’re not doing what you should) if you feel out of synch with these make-money-quick messages and schemes.  Make yourself RIGHT, and not wrong!

I’d love to hear from you – Do many of these “double your money!” messages turn you off?  Why, exactly?  And what money messages are attractive and exciting to you?  Please SHARE!

Brush Those “Haters” Off

Hello! How’s your week going?  Great, I hope.

Personally, I’ve had a few hard knocks this week from several people who indicated they’d like to offer constructive feedback, but then proceeded to tear down and put down.

Helpful or Hurtful?

It’s an interesting experience, to come open-hearted to someone to receive their feedback, thinking it will be a growing experience to hear their thoughts, only to discover that the input is not coming from a kind, compassionate or caring place, or being offered as a means of help.  Know what I mean? 
Have you experienced that lately too? 

As a trained therapist, communicator and energy worker, I feel energy.  I feel a vast energetic difference between words that come from someone who has clear vision, who’s done the inner work, and who is offering feedback from a caring, service-oriented place, versus input from one who hasn’t done the hard work of examining herself and understanding her own fears, vulnerabilities or dark side.  Sure, there are times when we hear critical input and it hurts, but we know deep down that it’s well-intended and important to take in.  But in the cases where the giver is not intending to be helpful, (and is just lashing out instead), we should NOT take it in.

It’s vitally important to be able to differentiate.  After all, (as my new friend just shared), “You don’t have to catch every ball that’s thrown at you.”

As hard as it is to be “torn down,” I’m using it as fodder for growth. I’m taking the time to settle into it and feel what it’s teaching me.  I’m looking at how I co-created the space for it. I’m also continuing to build stronger boundaries, and remembering that not everyone is going to like us! 

As You Spread Your Wings, You Bump into More Things

I’ve heard, and now believe, that the clearer we get about who we are and what we’re doing here, the more powerful and purposeful we are on that path, the more people will find us off-putting or threatening (and unlikable)!  I’ve heard it said that if you’re not offending anyone, you’re not taking a strong enough stand!  Intriguing concept, and I’m seeing a good deal of validity in it.

As I’ve been experiencing some challenging feedback that didn’t feel as if it were coming from a pure place, perhaps you have too?  I hope not, but if so, please remember this: 

You’re awesome, and you’re working very diligently to come from a place of service and to help many, from your heart.  You are special, and it’s time to stop shying away from your specialness. 

You have the right to share your uniqueness in a powerful way with others.  And if others bristle or lash out, don’t dishonor yourself by beating yourself up that you’ve done something wrong.  Treat yourself with love and compassion (and find compassion in your heart for the “hater”).  But also find the courage (and take the time) to learn the important lessons you need to experience, all along the way.
 
Brush Those “Haters” Off!
 
If someone tears you down with cruelty or out of spite or jealously, brush the “hater” off and pick yourself up!  Don’t be dragged down.  Certainly, find compassion and understanding in your heart, but remember that only you can understand and recognize your true path.  Keep true to yourself, and don’t let the detractors knock you down.
(Deep thanks go to my amazing virtual assistant — Yoana Brecker, of Advantage Virtual Support — for that sound and caring piece of advice!)
 
Have you been “put down” lately out of the blue?  What did it teach you?  Please SHARE.

Three Critical Success Steps for Professional Women

In the past several years, I’ve had the great pleasure of coaching and partnering with some amazing women in the U.S. – senior managers and leaders in Fortune 500 companies and non-profits who absolutely love their work, relish their roles, and feel they’re able to apply their many gifts and talents to achieve heart-aligned professional goals.  These women are fortunate indeed, but they’ve also co-created their great success through hard work, commitment, and dedication.

Yet even among women leaders who’ve accomplished much, I’ve observed one behavior that holds women back from greater leadership success.  It’s this – when women are concerned about their perceived weaknesses or knowledge gaps, they tend to isolate, and work hard to hide their “imperfections.”  They don’t realize that we simply can’t reach our potential if we don’t 1) admit the need for growth and 2) find empowering help to get it.

In order for professional women to stretch to reach their best, they need to take action to close their power gaps, and find support on a continual basis from inspiring, successful, heart-aligned women leaders.  But how?

Take these three action steps:

1)      Find a Visual Role Model/Mentor Who Inspires You – OUTSIDE of your company

Find an inspiring female mentor who is a living, breathing example of where you want to go and who you wish to be.  Make sure this female leader is speaking, behaving, managing and leading as you wish to. And have your most relied-upon mentor come from OUTSIDE of your firm.

 A wonderful client of mine mentioned to me that her male boss liked the idea of her finding a mentor, and recommended she use a fellow one level above her at the company as her mentor.  My response to that was, “Sure, that’s fine, but it’s not enough.”

You need to find a powerful mentor OUTSIDE your company as well, and make sure it’s a woman!  Yes, men can and will be wonderful supporters of your work, and you can find fabulous mentors within your company.  Do it. 

 But for the one mentor who is going to help you be all you wish to be, ask a female leader outside your immediate realm – someone with whom you can be perfectly authentic and candid —  a woman who will have your best interests at heart.  Find an individual who isn’t tempted to feel competitive with you, doesn’t have an agenda working with you, and isn’t compromised when you tell her exactly how you feel. 

Why choose a woman as your mentor?  Because we believe what we see – and when you interact closely with other powerful and enlightening female leaders who are expert at achieving their passion, power, and purpose at work, then you’ll be one step closer to that as well.

2)      Join Your Industry’s Best National and Regional Organizations for Women

As female leaders and managers, it’s essential that you connect with women in your region and nationally who are engaged in developing your profession and moving it forward for women. This is not to bash men, but corporate America was founded on a “white male competitive career model” that simply doesn’t fit a majority of women.   This will change – it has to.  But it will take a very long time. 

In the meantime, there are still powerful assumptions and expectations about what makes a successful professional that don’t, in general, align with thousands of women’s priorities, values and goals today.  (See my book Breakdown Breakthrough for more about this ill-fitting model and the 12 “hidden” crises working women face today).

So don’t wait. Locate the leading organizations in your field that support women, and join them.  Invest in membership (yes, my friends, you must invest in yourself) and become active in your chapter and nationally – it will change how you see yourself, your work, and your possibilities.

3)      Close Your “Power Gaps”

Finally, no matter who you are, you have insecurities (unless you’re a narcissist).  There will always be areas that you wish were stronger, that you’re afraid others will shine the light on, exposing your flaws and “weaknesses.”  It’s universal – we’re ALL afraid of being “found out” to some degree. 

So rather than spend any more precious time and energy hiding or over-compensating for the areas in which you need to grow,  get into the cage with your fears and do something about them.  Figure out exactly what training, education, credentials, experiences or new knowledge you need to acquire to feel more competent in your job, and go out and get them. And if you can, ask your employer to support you in this training and education.  Once you’ve addressed your perceived weaknesses, you’ll be amazed at how much more powerful and confident you feel and act.

Trust me when I say that getting help to courageously address your competency gaps will change you, and you’ll be delighted with the outcome.

What are your “power gaps?”  Where do you feel “less than?”  And who can serve as your powerful female mentor to help you overcome these gaps?

“Brasilian Vibes” – My Husband’s CD – Nominated for Best 2010 Brazilian CD

Hi Friends!

We just learned today that my husband Arthur Lipner‘s new cd with Nanny Assis called “Brasilian Vibes” has been nominated for 2010 Best Brazilian CD by the Brazilian Press Awards!  We’re psyched!

We’d be so grateful for your vote.  Please visit www.pressaward.com, click on the white box that says “para votar clique aqui” and choose “Brasilian Vibes” CD is in Category 5 and Nanny Assis in Category 2.

(One random voter will be chosen to win a trip to Miami! – may it be you!  You’ll be asked for your phone number to eliminate duplicate votes and to contact you should you win.  You don’t need to give the correct #.)

Thank you so much!

Top 10 Things I Love About Running My Own Small Business

I saw a neat HARO (@helpareporter) query today asking for the top things folks love best about running their own small businesses.  It felt SO good to think about this question, and to bring again to my heart and mind my gratitude for what Ellia Communications allows for me in my life.

Here’s my Top Ten list of what I love about running a small business:

1)      Making a Difference: I can make a difference in a way that matters to me – I’m not constrained by others’ agendas

2)      Leadership: I can lead and manage following my own vision, priorities, values and standards of integrity – not someone else’s

3)      Creativity: I can create and deliver products and programs that are authentic, useful and need-based, and get them to market very quickly (no red tape)

4)      Authenticity: There are zero politics in my world now – I work only with people, partners and organizations that are aligned with my mission and purpose

5)      Control: I can say “NO” and “YES! “as I want and need to – I’m in control of my schedule, my endeavors, my professional life

6)      Management: I can hire and collaborate with exactly the folks I want to be in association with– there are no other parties to cater to in my decisions

7)      Freedom of Speech: I can speak freely (hallelujah!), use my own voice and share honest views and perspectives without worrying about repercussions

8)      Balance: I achieve much greater work-life balance because I set my own priorities, which include time with my family

9)      Clarity – I know who I am professionally and where I’m going, with much greater clarity and focus than I achieved when working for others or larger businesses

10)   Passion, Power, Purpose – My own small business allows me to embrace everything that matters to me, and furthers me on my path of helping others reclaim their passion, power, and purpose.

Yes, I’ve made some big mistakes and there have been deep challenges.  But I love Ellia Communications and am grateful for everything it makes possible for me.

What do you LOVE about running your small business?  Let’s hear it!

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