Posts Tagged ‘Breakdown Breakthrough’

« Older Entries
Newer Entries »

7 Signs You’re In Denial About Your Money Situation

Wednesday, July 21st, 2010

In the past year, I’ve spoken and worked directly with hundreds of women entrepreneurs, executives, consultants and small business owners who are, as I was at one time, in complete denial about their money situation.  They know they’re not earning nearly enough or they’re spending too much, and money is slipping through their hands, but that’s as far as their recognition of the problem goes. 

In short, their heads are deep in the sand about their money relationship.  They’re working hard to ignore the obvious – the inevitable misery that will come unless they change directions, and fast.

How can you tell if you’re in denial about your money situation? 

Here are 7 glaring signs that you’re in money trouble:

1.    You can’t pay your monthly mortgage or your rent without tapping into savings, retirement, home equity loans or other funds.

2.   You are using your credit cards each month to buy essentials such as food, clothes, and gas.

3.   Your small business, consultancy or private practice is losing money each and every month, and despite your valiant efforts, nothing you do is changing that fact.

4.    All the ways you’ve made money in the past don’t work now.

5.    You don’t have a Plan B in the event your Plan A fails, and you don’t have the necessary benchmarks and signposts to tell you it’s time to change course.

6.   You’re hanging on by a thread to your “Build it and They Will Come” mentality, but they’re not coming.

7.  Someone you love and respect has been telling you over and over that you’re in denial and things must change, but you’ve ignored them or argued against them bitterly

Do any of the above sound like your situation?  If so, PLEASE act now. Don’t wait another day.  Your money situation simply will not improve unless you do things very differently, starting today.

What should you do differently?

I’ve just read a terrific book called Life! by Design (highly recommended) by Tom Ferry– a well-known success coach and motivational leader — and he outlines 6 steps to changing your life and “living by design” which I think apply perfectly to changing your money situation.  These are steps I explore with all my clients as well.

These six vital steps are:

1.         Wake up from your coma – be aware of the key areas in your life that need attention today

2.         Make the choice to change your life

3.         Create your life by Design

4.         Do the things that bring you power

5.         Practice visualizing yourself already there, in possession of what you want

6.         Create structure and accountability by telling others around you about your plans and goals

I know from experience that in order for your money situation to change you must wake up to the severity of it, and commit to changing your situation by taking new empowered actions that will change your course.  To do things differently, you need a new, fresh perspective that includes concrete, practical, and effective support, know-how, and help.

And yes, you can do this, despite the negative stories you’ve told yourself that you don’t have what it takes.  I know you do have what it takes to revise your money situation — you wouldn’t be reading this information if you didn’t have access to the necessary resources, courage, faith and resolve to make this important life change.  The energy of money is pervasive in our culture – there’s no escaping it.  In this lifetime, you’re being called to empower yourself so that money will flow in your life, and support you as you flow with it.

The problem of money breakdown in women is so enormous today that I’ve committed myself to be an active part of the solution.  I’m excited to share that I’m launching this Fall a new marketing and communications consultancy branch to my business Ellia Communications, designed to help women entrepreneurs, executives, consultants and private practitioners step up to their highest visions in their work by find the right marketing, communications, and business planning strategies to support their empowered goals.  Stay tuned for more on that!

In the meantime, come for a specialized reading about your financial situation as it pertains to your career, small business or practice.  Call me for a Private Career Consultation.  I’ll help you see where you’re blocked around money, and support you to begin taking new steps that will release you from your financial traps.  Also, check out my book Breakdown Breakthrough, Chapter 10: Escaping Financial Traps (or write me at kathy@elliacommunications.com for a free chapter download). 

I’d love nothing better than to help you emerge from your financial woes so you can be all you wish to be in this life and in your work.

You’re ready for this new step, and so is your life!

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Advice, Breakthroughs, Careers, Challenges, Empowerment, Featured, Living Real, Support for Change, Tips for Empowerment | No Comments »

5 Reasons You’re Miserable at Work and What to Do about It

Tuesday, June 22nd, 2010

Last week, I held a free teleclass for women on the “5 Reasons You’re Miserable at Work and What To Do About It,” based on key findings from my national research with scores of working women across the country and my book Breakdown, Breakthrough.  More than 90 women signed up for the call, and they confirmed yet again what so many women have been unable able to say out loud until now, which is, “I’m unhappy at work, but I’m not sure exactly why or what to do about it!”

Whether you are a corporate professional, self-employed or in transition, if you need to find a different way to work, don’t worry. Help is on the way!  And you’re definitely not alone.

Below are what I’ve found to be the top five reasons so many women are dissatisfied and unfulfilled at work, along with concrete tips to revise your situation and change course today.

The top 5 reasons many women are miserable at work are –

They find it impossible to balance work and family

  1. They suffer from chronic financial distress
  2. They struggle using skills and talents that aren’t “natural” to them
  3. They feel chronically undervalued and disrespected
  4. They experience little joy or positive meaning in their work

If the above describes your experience, here are some tips to help you create an internal shift away from feeling trapped and disempowered, to feeling more confident, courageous and committed to making positive career change today (and feel free to write me at kathy@elliacommunications.com if you’d like a download of the recording of the call).

Tips for Positive Career Change:

1) Gain More Work-Life Balance

Balance is not going to just fall in your lap.  You have to claim it, and commit to getting it.  How?  First, determine the three most important priorities you are committed to achieving in your personal and in your professional life.  What are the three things that are vital to you to bring about — that matter more than anything else?  Formulate these in terms of “to be” statements such as “to be a loving mother or “to be a successful entrepreneur” or “to be a helper of others.”

Uncover the three top achievements that you are longing to bring about in your life and work and that you will not compromise on.  Then commit yourself to these.  Discover where you are over-functioning (doing more than is necessary, more than is healthy, and more than is appropriate) in your life, your family, and work, and let go of doing too much and being perfect in the areas that don’t matter as much to you.  Once you take these steps, you’ll find that balance comes more easily to you, because you are being guided each day by the knowledge of what you want to create, and knowing you are 1000% committed to doing it.

2) Get Healthy with Your Money

To get out of chronic financial distress, you must become intimately connected with your money and begin to recognize your real intrinsic worth.  First, create a solid budget with strong financial goals, and stick to it.  Examine your spending – are you buying things in order to soothe your soul?  If so, stop over-spending.  Look at your beliefs around money that you learned as a child from living with your family.  Are your beliefs about money positive or negative, expansive or constricting? Do you believe you deserve wealth and abundance, or are you ashamed of the money you have or don’t have?  Overall, the key to overcoming chronic financial distress is to heal your relationship with money through positive and healthy beliefs, actions, and choices.  Once you create a supportive money relationship, you will no longer stay in jobs that create financial distress or drain you of joy and energy.  You’ll know your worth, and begin claiming it, on your professional path and otherwise.

3) Use Skills that Are Fun and Natural - 

It’s vitally important to understand exactly what talents and skills are easy and fun for you to use, and then find a way (either in your existing job or in a new field or job) to tap these talents more frequently at work.  To get more in touch with what you love to do and what comes easily, take my free Career Path Assessment.  Figure out what you want to do more of, less of, and never again!  Often, what you love to do and what comes easily to you were apparent in your childhood, so start there.  What did you thoroughly enjoy as a kid that people noticed, admired and praised?  You might also realize in doing this exercise that just because you’re great at a task or endeavor at work doesn’t mean you like to do it!  The key to an easier and happier work-life is to use talents that come naturally and are fun to you, so that each day feels like a joy, not a struggle.

4) Claim Your Self-Respect

If you’re chronically undervalued or mistreated at work and want people to change their treatment of you, you must start with SELF-respect.  How do you gain self-respect?  Through courageous action that inspires your own self-esteem – action that you know you should be taking, but haven’t found the nerve to take.  Now’s the time to become more authentic and real in your work. Speak up about who you are and what’s important to you.  Make yourself right, not wrong.  If you know something needs to be communicated, figure out a way to do it as soon as possible.  Find an advocate or mentor at work to help you speak up in the right way so that you will be heard and respected for your viewpoint.  Start enforcing your boundaries so that you know exactly what you will tolerate and accept from others, and what you won’t. 

5) Find Work that Gives Your Life Joy and Meaning

It’s a myth in our culture that we can’t make good money doing what we love.  However, it takes grit, determination, and courage to pursue a path that you love and to make it work for you financially.  If you want more joy and meaning — and financial success at the same time — determine what endeavors and activities make you joyful in your life, and begin today to bringing these forward.  The key is to understand 1) the essence of what you want, and then 2) find the right form of it. For instance, you might love to sing (as I do), and wonder if singing to earn money would make you happy.  To find out if a new path is right for you, research, research, research – interview people in the field, read all about the art and craft of singing professionally, take classes, find a mentor, and determine a way to “try it on’ before you leap.  You might discover that earning money singing as a full-time living isn’t for you, but you love to do on a part-time or hobby basis.  If that’s the case, join a volunteer or community singing group each week, and honor this as a heart-aligned endeavor. 

If you discover that you want a different line of work from your current job, create a plan that allows you to 1) research thoroughly what you want to do, 2) “try it on” as a volunteer or on part-time basis, then 3) commit to moving toward this new path with a solid financial plan, support of family and friends (and a coach if you’d like one), along with a step-by-step blueprint for what it will take to reinvent your career.

The Ultimate Outcome – Joy!

It’s up to you to create a career that you love, and you can do it!  Start today.  Let the top five reasons you’re miserable at work be the catalyst you need to change your career and change your life.  Trust me on this one…when you step up to a path of building a career you love, you’ll expand to new heights you never thought possible.

Tags: , , , , ,
Posted in Advice, Breakthroughs, Careers, Challenges, Empowerment, Inspiration for Change, Kathy Caprino, Women in Business, success | 2 Comments »

When “Nice Girls” Negotiate

Tuesday, December 8th, 2009

In a recent Harvard Business Publishing blog on Can “Nice Girls” Negotiate?, Whitney Johnson writes about the negative repercussions of women negotiating for themselves in the workplace.  Her piece is right on, from my perspective, and reflects the volumes of both qualitative and quantitative research recently about women, culture, expectations and the challenges they face in the nation’s workforce.

 

I’m always fascinated by the range of comments these posts elicit, from complete agreement to vitriolic dissension to something in between.  One individual wrote:

 

“I’m not sure this is a man vs. woman thing. Men can ask for a raise/promotion and don’t get it as well. The trick is to ask for something that you know you’re able to get (studying your value in the company, as well as the company’s financial stance). Note that you don’t have to deserve the raise in order to get it.”

 

I’d bet you anything that this comment is from a man.  Women know exactly what they’re facing in the workplace, yet men are still slow to recognize and acknowledge it. 

 

My two cents:

 

I couldn’t agree more with this article.  As a women’s career coach and work-life researcher, and from my national study with hundreds of professional women about the 12 “hidden” crises working women face today, it’s abundantly clear – with research to support it.  Women are often viewed and evaluated negatively when displaying the same traits that successful professional men exhibit – speaking up, challenging, negotiating, using powerful language of leadership, etc. 

 

It IS a gender thing, folks.  But this doesn’t mean men are out to get us.  Not at all.  This means that women are dealing with deeply-ingrained cultural stereotypes and gender role definitions that create challenges in terms of what women can successfully say and do in business, and how they’re judged when they do it. 

 

So what to do about this?  Just what Ms. Johnson suggests…women must speak up for themselves, and be completely prepared for the consequences. We simply can’t change this dynamic and these stereotypes if we stay mum.  It’s time for a breakthrough movement for women, and for that to occur, women have to act. 

 

Question of the week – As a working woman, are you able to speak up and negotiate for yourself well?  How does it go for you when you do?  Please share – all comments are welcome!

Tags: , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Advice, Breakthroughs, Careers, Challenges, Empowerment, Inspiration for Change, Kathy Caprino, Men and Women | No Comments »

Can You Make a Good Living Being a Life Coach?

Monday, October 12th, 2009

Running a coaching and consulting company dedicated to helping women achieve breakthrough in their lives and work, I meet thousands of folks each year who want to reinvent, many of whom are considering launching a coaching or consulting practice, or other small business of their own.  They long to transition into coaching for solid reasons, and many come with great, top-level experience. 

 

As a career consultant, I help people evaluate if launching a coaching practice or other venture seems a viable step for them first by conducting a thorough assessment of their goals, abilities, preferences, personality, values, mission, purpose, and long-term plans.  As my book publicist Patti Danos asked me when I was launching my book Breakdown, Breakthrough, I ask my clients, “What do you want, and what do you really want, in doing this?”

 

After such an assessment, I have often recommended in the past, “Looks like it makes sense at this time to move forward, and that you’ve got a strong grasp of what’s required.  Go for it!” 

 

Now, however, in these intensely challenging times, I ask this new question, “Are you ready and able to do what it takes to make this successful? Are you 3000% committed?”

 

About becoming a coach, the average income of a life coach in the U.S. today is between $30,000 – $40,000.  Only 10% to 20% or so make six-figure incomes, and many more life coaches don’t make anywhere near $30,000.  It’s not an easy path, and clients simply will not fall in your lap.  Success requires time, action, commitment, and a good number of top level skills to differentiate yourself, and to generate a large enough community to continue to fill your pipeline of paying clients.

 

A coach from the largest coaching organization in the world told me last week that of all the folks that reach out to them to pursue coaching, only 40% are truly “coachable,” and of those, only 30% end up signing up for services.  Those stats apply to my business as well.

 

I realized this week something that feels like a real “aha” to me – coaching is for a group or culture that is at the highest level of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs – the level of self-actualization.  Today, however, our economic strife has pushed millions of people us down several levels of the hierarchy – to the level of “safety” — so that their primary focus now is on financial safety and security. 

 

If you’re interested in starting a practice/business as a life coach during these times, I’d ask you to seriously evaluate yourself, your abilities and talents, your passion for this, and your commitment to launching and maintaining a thriving practice/business.  These questions apply to you if you’re considering any entrepreneurial, small business, or consulting endeavor as well:

 

Ask yourself the following questions:

 

1)       What must I earn each year, to achieve the standard of living I need?  What have I earned before (and if I want to top that, what will I do differently)?

 

2)       What’s my risk tolerance?  Can I tolerate a lack of stability, fluidity, and security?

 

3)       What is my relationship with money today?  How do I deal with it, earn it, save it, invest it and grow it?  Are my actions around money, and feelings, and views powerful and healthy?  Are you committed to making the living you want?

 

4)       What is motivating me – consciously and subconsciously – to want to be a life coach?  Is there anything I’m running from that I need to address first?

 

5)       If I do everything I can to make my practice work for three to five years, and $30,000 remains my income, will this be acceptable and viable for my life and family?  If not, what will be my plan to grow myself, my knowledge and skill set — to be part of the minority segment of high-earners in the coaching field?

 

6)       Do I have the abilities, courage, confidence, perseverance and commitment to undertake all the facets of running a thriving practice/business, including: client development, networking, social media, marketing, branding, speaking, workshops, writing, business and financial leadership, and providing top-notch client services – all in one?  If not, where will I get support, learn new skills, and how will I fund this growth?

 

7)       Am I able to figure out what I don’t know or what I’m not good at, and get help all along the way to fill in my knowledge, power, and business gaps?

 

8)       Are you ready to give up a “build it and they will come” mentality, and step up to what it takes to run a successful business/practice?

 

9)       Finally, what are you looking for – a job or a calling?

 

I ask you to address these questions not to discourage you from following your dreams, but to present a realistic picture of what’s essential in running a successful business today.  If you conduct a deep exploration of your answers to these questions and come up ready to move forward to pursue life coaching as your career, fantastic!!  If not, then perhaps other avenues and outcomes of career reinvention are more suited to you, and will make you happier and more fulfilled.

 

If you do wish to move forward into life coaching, I’d say it’s time for you to explore it further and embrace the possibility. 

 

Here are some first great steps:

1)       Research, research, research what it will take (start first with the International Coach Federation) and explore training programs, resources, and other coaches’ businesses and models.  Find a successful life coach to hire who could serve as your mentor business coach.  My specific tip here: Use a business coach who has already achieved what you long to.  (For info on the difference between a “mentor” coach and an “implementation” coach, stayed tuned to my upcoming posts.)

 

2)       Get powerful with your money today – don’t wait.  Gain a thorough grasp of your financial situation – what you need to earn, what you spend, what you can cut back on, how you will fund your reinvention, and so on.  Get a great financial consultant to help you sort out your situation, and set realistic, stretching goals.  Get out of denial, and get powerful with your finances.

 

3)       “Go where the energy is” – observe yourself in the process of exploring this path.  Does it feel exciting, energizing, enlivening, or daunting and discouraging?  For you to make a go of this, the predominant feeling needs to be excitement, possibility, and passion.

 

4)       Receive training and education  – nothing moves us forward faster than powerful training and education to help us be and know more than we do today.  Don’t skip that step.  Coaching training and business skill development are absolutely vital to teach you how to be the best coach, and business owner, you can be.

 

5)       Develop a sound business plan with concrete marketing strategies.  Find a great non-profit organization (such as SCORE the Women’s Business Development Center, or Count Me In) in your area, to help you create powerful business and marketing tactics, and a plan, to make your endeavor successful.

 

6)       Finally, take my four steps to breakthrough:

-          Step back for an empowered outside perspective on where you are, and what you dream of doing

 

-          Let Go of the thinking, behaviors, and patterns that have been keeping you stuck and holding you back in the past

 

-          Say Yes! to your compelling visions.  If you really want to do this, then commit yourself 3000% to doing what it takes to be successful.

 

-          Create It!  Develop a solid plan, complete with goals, outcomes, and milestones against which to measure your progress.  If you don’t plan it, you’ll have a very tough time creating it, or generating the necessary energy you need to build it.

 

For added support, sign up for my newsletters and my blog on career and life breakthrough to give you some ongoing assistance and resources.

 

Life coaching is a fabulously exciting and rewarding field.  Here’s to embracing your inner (and outer) coach, and being financially and emotional successful doing it!

Tags: , , , , ,
Posted in Careers, Empowerment, Following Your Dreams, Support for Change, Uncategorized | 3 Comments »

Are You Self-Sustaining or Community-Sustaining, or both!

Thursday, October 8th, 2009

In speaking today with my fabulous digital strategy mentor Nettie Hartsock, we stumbled on an interesting concept, which is this…in the digital world, it’s all about open contributing and sharing generously, giving of yourself freely.  It’s also about shining a light on others — pointing to the special brilliance and contribution of other colleagues and leading edge thinkers in a way that sustains and nurtures community, connection, learning and the global growth.

 

The underlying problem with this whole approach for so many small business owners, creatives, authors, consultants and entrepreneurs, is that this idea – this “movement,” shall we say — can feel in total opposition to how we’ve operated for years.  Giving of ourselves freely (without asking for or commanding money for own gifts, talents, and services), and pointing to the distinguished talents of others, can feel in sharp contrast to the ways we’ve achieved success (financial, emotional, and otherwise) in the past.  After all, our cultural worldview has, up until now, been about the individual hacking it out in the wilderness, and coming up with the bounty all by him/herself.

 

Thousands of individuals today have achieved fantastic results and accomplishments because of their intense and relentless focus on self – what they offer the world individually and uniquely that no one else can.  So the idea of a shift from a self-orientation to a community-orientation can be daunting, scary and confusing.  Giving away for free what folks have spent years honing and developing – the very thing that makes them different and sets them apart — seems counterintuitive, or bad business, to many. 

 

Further, the ego – the part of the personality equation that is so often helpful in launching yourself powerfully in the world – can feel very threatened when we’re being asked to shift away from self-centric endeavors to community-building endeavors.

 

As a business owner who helps other business owners, practitioners, authors, professionals, etc. make money doing what they love, I know that balance is essential to a passionate, powerful, and purposeful life and career.  Balance in all areas is vitally important – balance between work and family, between making great money and doing good in the world, AND balance between gratifying and sustaining your ego/individuality/self and supporting the growth of the world outside yourself.

 

These are not mutually exclusive endeavors, of course, though they can feel like they are.  People say to me, “I don’t have one second to waste in my business.  Times are so hard.  I don’t have time to blog and tweet and follow others.  I need to go out and make some money here!”

 

But finding a way to contribute openheartedly to the world WHILE sustaining and nurturing the self in a bountiful way is the key to a well-lived life and a successful business/career.

 

So to those who ask themselves, “Do I really have to participate in this online movement to grow my business?” I say this – giving and sharing of yourself – of your special knowledge, perspective, and wisdom — gratifies your soul and also directly benefits your business and your career.  The return on investment (yes, that dreaded measure!) is clear.  Give of yourself generously to the world, and you will earn financial and emotional success in return.

 

As you develop your community through generous giving of yourself and to others, you build a tremendously powerful network of like-minded partners and supporters in this world – people who find what you have to offer extremely valuable and will share that knowledge with others. These supporters will help you grow your business endeavors by connecting you with new and wonderful folks who will gladly utilize (and pay for) your products, services and special talents, for the greater good of all involved.

 

Don’t trust me?  Here’s my challenge:

Kathy’s challenge:  For three months, participate more fully (in specific, concrete ways) in the social media movement.  Create a blog, share a newsletter, complete your LinkedIn profile, ask for recommendations on LinkedIn and give others a great recommendation, tweet about others’  fantastically interesting viewpoints – share freely and openly your wisdom and perspective. (Here are mine, for some samples: blog, newsletter, LinkedIn profile, Twitter). 

 

Then measure what you get in return.  If you don’t see a return that blows your mind, let me know.  I’ll send you a free copy of my book Breakdown Breakthrough if you take my challenge.  Write to Kathy@elliacommunications.com to participate and for details.

 

“See” you online soon!

Tags: , , , , , ,
Posted in Careers, Empowerment, Inspiration for Change, Uncategorized | 2 Comments »

How Believing in “The Secret” Can Damage Your Life

Monday, October 5th, 2009

I’ve spent years developing a spiritual life that is both deeply meaningful and practically useful to me in my life and work.  This was no easy feat for me.  I had to cast off all the religious doctrine and dogma that was thrust on me as a child.  All of it left me believing that organized religion espouses concepts that are, in many cases, antithetical to a true understanding of divinity and spirituality.  Organized religion is often so way off-base –  pushing us toward negative and personally diminishing beliefs that are in total opposition to what I believe God or Love truly represent.

 

In my quest for a spiritual life that works for my day-to-day life too, I found myself taking a very large and long detour, falling into the trap that positive, spiritual thinking and a shift in energetic “vibration” would get me out of my troubles.  So here’s what I’ve learned.  If you want real life change, start with positive thinking but proceed with action.

 

The Law of Attraction means “like attracts like” – your positive (or negative) energy and thoughts will attract more of same.  But understanding that is not enough to turn your life around.  Trust me on this one.

 

If this resonates, I hope you’ll read on.  Here are several excerpts from my book Breakdown, Breakthrough (from Chapters 14 and 15) on what it takes to develop a rich, purposeful and authentic spiritual life that works for you:

 

(From Breakdown Breakthrough, Chapter 15 – Doing Work and Play You Love)

Relax, It’s Not All Up to You

 

Many of us were raised with the American ethic of personal achievement and the need to conquer. We were given the notion that it’s up to each of us, individually and solely, to hack out the life we want, sometimes crushing others (and ourselves) to get it. After many years of struggle and despair, Laura discovered that her life wasn’t all up to her.

 

She found more powerful help—her belief in a higher power, a universal energy that connects her with herself and the world around her. This energy elevates her above her individual capabilities and knowledge. Laura accessed her higher power by going inward, listening quietly and patiently to hear her soul speaking.

 

Others find their higher power through religion, spirituality, healing, energy work, meditation, praying, or serving others. I’ve found my connection to a higher power by casting off all of the rigid doctrine I was taught that felt false. I reconstructed a working concept of spirituality that feels right.

 

I believe in an all-loving universal energy that flows through and connects of us.  Some call it God, others call it Love. Whatever you call it, if you connect with your higher power in a way that resonates for you, life changes. When you hear the sound of your own soul whispering to you, you’ll know it in a second. There will be no doubt.  You will be changed by the love, tolerance, lightness, optimism, and surety that you hear there, inside of you.

 

 

It doesn’t matter whether you choose to meditate during your train commute, take walks, garden, do yoga, sit on the beach, rest in a sanctuary, or write to your angels.  What’s critical is that you find a way to quiet your mind, soothe your body, and tap into your vast inner knowledge and power, daily. But accessing it isn’t enough. Once you hear your inner wisdom, follow it, and act boldly.

 

(From Breakdown, Breakthrough, Chapter 14 – Balancing Life and Work)

 

Get Help from Others and Your Higher Self

 

Coaching and energy healing helped Karen get in touch with her spiritual side in a life changing  way. She found help from her coach and healer, as well as from her spiritual voice and practices. These aids grounded her in a new reality of calm, balance, and acceptance.

 

Many women find strength and solace by getting in closer touch with their spiritual being. There are many helpful ways to find your spiritual self. Spiritual beliefs and practices that connect you more fully to yourself, enhance your self-respect and compassion for others, help you feel your own power and divinity, and appreciate the vastness of human experience are highly beneficial.

 

But many of us were taught religious beliefs that hold us back and simply don’t ring true. I know I was. And I threw the baby out with the bathwater. If this statement strikes a chord, I encourage you to seek out new spiritual beliefs and practices that feel right to you. Keep the baby! Find a way to connect to your spiritual side, and to something more expansive than your individual self. Doing so brings great perspective and peace of mind.

 

When I began to search for spiritual concepts that would bolster rather than frustrate me, I found a fascinating book, Conversations with God, by Neale Donald Walsch.  I devoured it in one night. For the first time in my life, I felt like I was home. I finally read in print spiritual ideas that feel right, beautiful, loving, and true. I was overjoyed.

 

Since then, I have continued to build spiritual beliefs that support and nourish me.  Connecting to your spiritual side, hearing your inner voice, and living from the knowledge you receive will get you closer to your values and priorities, soothe you, and set you in a positive direction with courage and power.

 *  *  *  *  *

 

Now here’s the rub – concepts such as The Law of Attraction as described in The Secret, or even those from my beloved Abraham-Hicks group (who’ve written many powerful books such as Ask and It is Given), can be totally misconstrued, and when they are, these concepts, and living by them as your exclusive guiding force, can be very damaging to your life.

 

Why? Because you can be lulled into inaction and a false sense of security by believing that just by changing your thinking or making key vibrational adjustments, you’ll do enough to generate the results you want and need to see your life.

 

I’m here to tell you – it’s simply not true.  The Law of Attraction isn’t going to bring you want you want, unless you take empowered action – focused, commitment, growth-inducing ACTION.  Sitting on your couch eating bonbons while engaged in positive thinking (or continuing to do what isn’t working and expecting different results) is a recipe for disaster.

 

If “The Secret” isn’t working for you – if you’re still struggling, stuck, desperate, confused, overwhelmed, the answer isn’t for you to keep doing what you’ve been done.  Einstein said the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over, and expecting different results.  Yes!  The answer out of your problems is to get help, shed what is keeping you stuck, and then take action – different and more empowered and focused action than you’ve ever taken before.

 

Positive thinking, the law of attraction, and the Secret – it’s a start, to get you believing in yourself, in your future visions and what you dream for life and work.  But if you want external positive results in your life, it’s time to step up and reclaim your life with action.

 

Question of the week: What one action can you take this week to step up to the life that’s waiting for you?  Please share!

Tags: , , , , , ,
Posted in Decoding "The Secret", Empowerment | 5 Comments »

How To Do More of What You Love (and less of what you hate)

Friday, October 2nd, 2009

People ask me all the time, “Is now really the time to consider making big changes in my life, or reinventing?”  I say YES!  Crisis times like these are the perfect time to reinvent.  They push you to purify, shed what holds you back, and embrace what you want most in life.  Why?  Because so much of what you are experiencing today isn’t working for you, that you finally get it – you wake up to recognizing  that you simply can’t go on like this any longer. 

 

But to generate positive change in your life and career, you’ve got to take action.  It’s work to make life and career change – both inner and outer work – and if you’re ready and committed to doing it, your life will most assuredly change for the better.

 

I’ve helped hundreds of people change careers, reinvent, start new businesses, apply their creative gifts to their careers, improve their relationships, gain empowerment in their current situation, and do more of what they love and less of what they hate to do in life and work.  The one common ingredient in all of these folks who are successful in making change is a deep and ongoing commitment to making their lives better and happier.

 

There are six vitally important steps to moving away from what you hate towards what you love:

 

1. Understanding What You Want

This is not an easy task, but it’s essential.  Understanding what you want in life requires a thorough review of your whole life and career, teasing out for exploration and discovery all the experiences you had in your life in which you felt fully alive, passionate, powerful, appreciated, recognized  – in the flow – knowing why you are on the planet now.  You need clarity about where you want to go, and this clarity comes from recognizing when you’ve been your “highest and best” self, the most joyful version of you.

 

Then, it takes figuring out how you can bring more of these experiences into your life today – developing a new empowered mindset, and applying your special skills, talents, and abilities in the world, and making MONEY doing it.  It takes figuring out if you want a job or a calling, and also what you want in your life as a professional endeavor vs. an avocational experience.

 

Download my Career Path Assessment on my Ellia Communications website for a great start, or write me for a free 30-minute coaching strategy session to help you gain clarity on the “essence of what you want” vs. the right “form” of it for you and your life (and your marriage, family, financial situation, long-term plans, etc.)

 

2. Research, research, and research what you might want to do differently in your career and life.  After you’ve analyzed what it will take, determine your readiness to move forward.  Make a decision to commit to doing what’s necessary to bring into your life what you want

 

3. Stretch yourself and power up – start being more powerful in your life today, wherever you can.  Speak up where you need to, enforce your boundaries where they’re being crushed, and stop being the “victim” to outside circumstances.  Start being accountable for how things are, and for changing them.

 

4. Become incredibly powerful around money and develop a business/marketing mindset (forget about a “build it and they will come” attitude – that doesn’t make a new business or venture successful).  As Tony Robbins says (I love it!) – don’t look at your life or career with rose-colored glasses.  See it for what it is, but don’t see it worse than it is.  Then TAKE ACTION!

 

5. Get help/be teachable at all times – Reach out and ask for help now, and all along the way.  We all have gaps in our knowledge and skill-sets. Learn to recognize when help is required, and get it.

 

6. Finally uncover what’s really holding you back from making the life and career change you want most.

 

Most often, it’s an internal block in the form of the “stories” you’ve been telling yourself all your life, about your worth, abilities, who you really are, and what you can ultimately achieve.

 

Typical blocks fall into these key areas:

• I’m afraid to step up
• I’m not good/smart/strong enough to do this
• Who will want really want me/this?
• Selling is terrible – I hate to sell (myself and my services)
• It’s a lot of work
• I haven’t succeeded at this before – why would I now?
• I don’t know how to make money doing what I love (and there’s no way I can)

 

Which “story” are you telling yourself about moving forward to embracing doing more of what you love, and less of what you hate?

 

YOU CAN DO IT!  Get empowered help today to gain clarity, focus, and create a plan to reinvent your life or work.

 

Check out my book Breakdown Breakthrough and my four month, four step Achieve Your Life Breakthrough! Program to start you on your way to breakthrough.

 

Change in life will happen, whether you act or not.  The question is, “Do you want to progress and grow, and be more successful and fulfilled through life change, or not?”  If you do, then you must take conscious and directed action: clarify exactly want you want, and create a concrete plan to achieve your goals.

 

Please take one step today from the list above to start you on your way to breakthrough.

Tags: , , , , , ,
Posted in Careers, Empowerment | 1 Comment »

The Real Deal with Women Today

Monday, September 21st, 2009

As so much national research is revealing, women are sadder and sicker than ever before, and more so in midlife than in other times of their lives. 

 

Here’s recent Huffington Post piece about the sad and shocking truth about women.

 

There’s speculation abounding about why, but no real answers.  Further, with men still being named the research experts on women (so irksome!), the headway is slow in uncovering the real truth.

 

Based on my seven years of research with thousands of women nationwide, there are seven hidden reasons why women are struggling deeply today, and failing to find success, health, joy, or purpose:

 

1)       An Ill-Fitted Career Model: The current competitive career model simply doesn’t fit women

 

2)       An Extreme Overload: The current gender roles don’t work – women are still doing the vast majority of domestic responsibility even when they work or are the primary breadwinners

 

3)       “Who can I look up to?”  There are very few female role models – from the past or present — of successful, happy, powerful and healthy women who work and raise a family

 

4)       “I’m not supposed to!”  Women are culturally trained NOT to do the things required of them to lead happy, healthy, powerful lives (including: speaking up, feeling confident and powerful, displaying self-esteem and leadership, knowing what you want and having an intensive focus in getting it, putting yourself first, etc.)

 

5)       “What do I choose?” Women are paralyzed by all the options in front of them (children, work, domestic responsibilities, rising to high ranks, working out of the home or in, having their own business vs. corporate job, etc).

 

6)       “I’m ashamed.” – Women feel guilt and shame about where they are and what they feel today, and about pursuing steps that will help them gain power and self-actualization

 

7)       Women Are Tough on Women – Women are very hard on themselves and other women — critical and punishing in their actions and beliefs — especially to other women.  Why?  Because they’re struggling and have been for years, and people who are in pain and struggling are not generous and giving.

 

All of these obstacles hit women hard.  Men do not face these crises in the same ways. 

 

Wake up world!!  Women are radically different from men and that’s a good thing!  They differ in their values, priorities, dreams, styles, visions, but they’re told somehow that it’s not ok to be different.  Women are struggling hard, but ashamed of their differences, and continually hide or deny their suffering.

 

The time is now!  Let’s help women step up to what they truly want, to create a breakthrough in how they live and work.  For this to happen, women must accept who they are authentically, power up and step up to get what they want, and stop making excuses.

 

It’s time for women to give themselves permission to choose the life of their dreams, and get 3000% committed to having it!

 

Please reach out today (crisis is the perfect time to reinvent) if you need a breakthrough in your life.  Take advantage of my FREE 30-minute coaching strategy call to help you 1) gain clarity on what you want, 2) understand what’s holding you back, 3) create a powerful plan to achieve your goals. 

 

Every day you don’t move toward breakthrough, is a day that’s stolen from your life.  What are you waiting for?

 

Tags: , , , ,
Posted in Men and Women, Tips for Empowerment, Uncategorized | No Comments »

A Fine Line Between Failure and Success

Friday, September 18th, 2009

When we’re facing what feel like insurmountable challenges in our work or life, it’s vitally important to go back to basics – to purify, shift what isn’t working, re-focus, and commit 3000% to what you care about achieving.

 

In running my own small business through extreme times of hardship and recession, and helping others get what they want in their careers, I’ve returned to basics myself, and reconnected with the three essential ingredients that lead to success. They’re powerful and they work.

 

Without these, you might find success but it’ll be a far bumpier ride with some agonizing detours. Here’s what’s needed to reinvent your life and career, and also to launch a new business endeavor successfully:

 

Intensive Focus

Someone recently asked me, “What are you – a coach, author, writer, blogger, speaker, workshop leader…what?!” The question was meant to remind me of my need to focus intently on the area that I most want to grow – for me, that’s my one-on-one coaching practice. Sure, we can do several important things at once. However, spreading ourselves too thin too often creates a dilution effect in our strength, time, and ability to build what we care about most. Figure out what you want most, and focus intensively with passion and power on that for several months, and watch what happens.

 

 

Generating Something from Nothing

In intensely challenging times like these, all around us we see despair, confusion and a lack of hope and energy. It’s contagious. We also see businesses drying up before our eyes. It’s scary indeed. But success comes from being your own source of positive energy, from finding a way to internally generate your own authentic enthusiasm, energy, and excitement about what you do, even when outside forces are pushing against you.

 

My young son came home last night and told me that his teacher asked the students this year to “be the change you want to see” (Gandhi’s beautiful request to the world). There’s such a keen nugget of truth in that for all of us – if we want success to come to us, we must first be success — embody and live the principles of the success you long for — and that will open the door to success. Energy attracts like energy.

 

 

Undying Commitment

To be successful in life and work, it takes commitment that doesn’t wane. It takes believing that you can create movement in your life and business, even when the waters are still and the 3D world is giving you evidence that you’re not going to make it to your destination.

 

But that doesn’t mean we should continue blindly, crashing into the rocks without modifying our course. It means that you know when you need help, and you ask for it before it’s too late. Commit yourself without doubt, without reservation, but do what’s required and be flexible. Realize that you have vulnerabilities and gaps in knowledge and ability, and work to fill them. Believe in yourself, get the outside help you need as soon as you need it, and keep growing and learning.

 

The fine line between success and failure is simply this – find a way to be success precisely when outside success is eluding you.

 

Question of the week: What do you do in times of turmoil to generate internal energy, enthusiasm, and light, just when the lights around you have gone out?

Wishing you many happy breakthroughs,

Kathy

Tags: , , , , ,
Posted in Advice, Tips for Empowerment | No Comments »

Being Real in Times of Turmoil

Wednesday, September 9th, 2009

I had a fascinating call last night from a local woman in need of some help.  She had heard of me in the community, and was reading my book Breakdown, Breakthrough and found it resonated with her, so she reached out for some coaching insights about her current situation, which is very dire.

 

Our conversation brought something to light which I’m compelled to address now, because it’s vitally important to me to be authentic and real in my work, while at the same time offering help, comfort, and hope to people who are suffering intensely right now.

 

This woman indicated to me that in some way, she was nervous to call me, afraid I wouldn’t understand her, or accept her, because of what she’s going through.  She is feeling very lost and alone right now, and she said she felt intimidated because she viewed me as a woman who’d accomplished so much, one who doesn’t struggle, and as one who knows exactly what my passion is, and is “powerful”  in living that passion. 

 

This one-sided perception, while highly complimentary, is distressing to me, because it acknowledges only one side of me and my life – the light-filled side.  It disregards the shadow side, the dimension of me that is feeling burdened, confused, and hopeless like most everyone else in the country today.  I struggle in these very hard financial times and in my life, exactly as others do around me.  My business has taken a huge hit in the economic downturn, and I’ve been disheartened by the external view that life and career coaching and breakthrough work for women are endeavors only for the “good” and prosperous times, not for times when we can’t pay our bills.

 

When folks look at my website, programs and offerings, many see something that isn’t there – they see someone who only experiences success and power – one who, after some problems and challenges in the corporate world, somehow easily and seamlessly found a way to reinvent, and did it to great success.  What they don’t see (or don’t want to see) are all my flaws, bumps, blocks, and pitfalls– the challenges (in my personality, approach, thinking, and worldview) that created (and still do bring about) crushing and demoralizing obstacles for me.  They see in me someone who is invincible, who knew what she wanted and got it. 

 

For the record, it wasn’t, and isn’t, like that – seamless, easy, straightforward.  It’s the opposite.  For years, I had no idea what I wanted to do in my life, and spent thousands of wasted, unhappy hours feeling lost and confused – and feeling ashamed and embarrassed that, despite my “outward” success, I was breaking down.  Now that I do know who I want to be and what I want to do in the world, the challenge is in doing that successfully.

 

What’s important for me to share right now is my vulnerable, frightened side – the shadow side of me that works day and night to create in the 3-dimensional world what I need and long to do.  I’m clawing through these times like everyone else – to pay my bills, to build a thriving business, to remain a source of light and hope for my family, and to provide uplifting help needed now more than ever – while still allowing myself the occasional time to “give in” and hang my head in my hands over the challenges I face.

 

So there it is – an authentic, real look at the inner workings of a formerly miserable corporate professional turned passionate life and career coach – potentially supremely happy, but in these times, doing everything in her power to keep the faith and to believe actively what her heart tells her is the truth: that each of us will weather these tumultuous times and find ourselves on the other side some day, with greater strength, courage, and wisdom than we ever thought possible. 

 

Here’s to keeping it real.

 

What do you do each day to “keep the faith” and keep it real in your life and work?  I’d love to hear.  Thank you for sharing.

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Living Real | 3 Comments »

« Older Entries
Newer Entries »