Posts Tagged ‘career’

« Older Entries
Newer Entries »

What To Do When Speaking About Your Work is Hard

Tuesday, November 30th, 2010

This week, I had a fascinating marketing coaching session with a woman who shared with me her difficulty in speaking about her work.  She revealed that, every time she discusses what she does for a living, one of two things happen:

1) People turn off immediately

or

2) They poke some fun at the company she works for (it’s a well-known national organization with an external reputation that isn’t 100% positive)

While our session was ostensibly about “crafting a powerful elevator pitch,” it morphed quickly into something quite different.  We explored not just the “content” of her elevator pitch, but the “process” of how she feels about and connects to her work, and what is missing.

There are vitally important factors that contribute to being able to speak and write about your work and your job in an authentic, exciting and compelling way.  It’s not all about the words you choose – it’s about what’s underneath those words.

The following are key ingredients to communicating about what you do for a living with passion, power, and purpose:

1) Alignment – You have to be aligned with your work and supportive of it in order to speak engagingly about it.  If you have internal conflicts about the company or the work you do, it’ll show.

2) Clarity – You must be clear about what you do and what aspects of your responsibilities you wish to share with others.  If you wear several different hats in your work, get crystal clear about which professional dimension you want to focus on, and to whom (tailor your messages for each type of audience you encounter, so they can care about what you do).

3) Authenticity – If you have to lie or fib to create a compelling story of what you do, it’s time for a change.  Lying weakens you, and your energy palpably reveals that you’re not telling the truth.

4) Passion – You can’t fake enthusiasm.  If you’re bored to tears with your work, you’ll be boring to others about it.  There’s a difference between a “job and a calling.”  If you have a calling, you’ve got passion for it.  But if you have a job that doesn’t light you up, find some aspect of it that elicits excitment in you (or think about changing directions a bit so it will). 

5) Growth – Finally, if your work is NOT helping you grow and learn, your communications will reflect your stagnation.  Make a shift in your work so you’re learning and growing all the time.  Your writing and speaking will reflect this expansion, and positive growth is a magnet to others.

In the final years before I reinvented my career to something I love, I was corporate VP selling products that, to me, had zero contributive value or meaning in the world.  I hated the work, and I simply couldn’t find a way to speak about it positively.  When folks would ask me, “What do you do?” I’d give some vague, boring or confusing response. 

Why?  Because the work I did wasn’t me at all.  I didn’t like, respect, or even care about it!  If that resonates with you, it’s not your elevator pitch that needs tweaking – it’s your line of work or how you’re engaged in it. 

How about you? Do you like talking about your work?  If not, what’s the hardest thing about it, and what do you think that challenge suggests?

 Thanks for sharing!

Tags: , , , , , , ,
Posted in Advice, Breakthroughs, Careers, Empowerment, Inspiration for Change, Kathy Caprino, Marketing Support, Powerful Self-Marketing, Wake Up Calls | No Comments »

The 12 Hidden Crises of Entrepreneurial Women

Wednesday, November 24th, 2010

Several years ago I conducted a yearlong research study with over 100 working women across the country about professional crises in women and how we can reclaim our lives to overcome them.  I was astounded by the findings, and felt they were so universal and important for women, I wrote a book called Breakdown Breakthrough about these 12 crises, offering a three-step holistic model to break through these challenges once and for all.

Since the book came out in 2008, women from all over the country have written to me sharing sentiments such as, “You are writing to me, about me, and for me,” and “It’s as if you know exactly what I’m living and feeling!”  My research shows that 9 out of 10 working women are experiencing at least one of these 12 “hidden” crises, and on average, women are experiencing three at the same time!  And over half of these women don’t know what to do about it.

These 12 crises are not just tiny “bumps” in the road but full-out, serious challenges that are marked by chronic disempowered thinking and a serious lack of ability to move oneself forward in positive, powerful ways towards one’s goals and visions.

These 12 crises fall into four categories that represent how we relate to ourselves and the world. 

These four levels depict the nature of our:

  • Relationship with Ourselves
  • Relationship with Others
  • Relationship with the World
  • Relationship with Our Higher Selves

In general, each crisis is characterized by an “I can’t do this!” mantra, or some form of disempowered thinking, beliefs and actions.  The crises include:

  • “I can’t speak up for myself.”
  • “I can’t get out of this financial trap.”
  • “I can’t escape this crushing competition.”
  • “I can’t resolve my chronic health problems.”
  • “I don’t like who I’ve become.”
  • “I can’t use my real talents in my work.”
  • “I can’t balance life and work.”
  • “I can’t do work and play that I love.”

Entrepreneurial Women Face these Same Challenges

As I move forward with marketing consulting work for entrepreneurial women around the country, I’m finding that these same 12 crises are challenging women in their entrepreneurial ventures as well, and in the ways in which they view and run their businesses!

Entrepreneurial women are challenged on these same four levels:

Relationship With Themselves as Entrepreneurs 
Key issue: “Do I have what it takes to be a successful entrepreneur, and am I “good” or “smart” enough to run this business?”

Relationship With Others
Key issue: “How can I forge a mutually-beneficial and supporting relationship with clients, customers, colleagues, and peers?”

Relationship With The World
Key issue: “Am I using my real gifts and talents in this business, and is my business providing a service to the world that I care about delivering, that others need and want?”

Relationship With the Higher Self 
Key issue: “Does my business have a higher mission, vision and values that mean more  to me than simply making money?”

If you’re an entrepreneurial woman and are challenged with any of the above issues in your life and work, please know that there is indeed help out there for you, and these are very common challenges that entrepreneurial women face.  Also know that new thinking and actions can indeed shift you away from feeling disempowered and unable to tackle the issues at hand.  You can do this, and you can do it well, loving your work and thriving in the process. But you have to take action, and a kind of action that is different from what you normally would engage in.

There are four key steps to overcoming these types of challenges:

1. Step Back – to gain a fresh, empowered perspective of your situation and what it is telling you about what needs to change

2. Let Go – of the thinking, actions, and behaviors that are keeping you stuck and holding you back

3. Say Yes! – to your compelling future visions of your business and of your success as an entrepreneurial woman.

4. Create It – create a S.M.A.R.T. plan with concrete, measurable goals and action steps – and find someone to help you become accountable – for moving on your way to achieving your visions of success and fulfillment.

Try this experiment! Pick up a copy of my book Breakdown Breakthrough and read it.  (Commit to carving out a bit of time just for yourself over the holidays and read the chapters that really speak to you.)  As you read the book and the powerful stories and advice presented by women who have transformed their lives and work, focus specifically on the concepts and information that elicit a feeing of “resistance” in you – ideas or words that make you say to yourself, “Oh, I really don’t want to look at that,” or “That’s not me!”  Then take one, targeted action that will help you address the area you resist the most.

One of the most powerful concepts I learned in therapy training is, “What you resist, persists.”  Watch closely what you resist, because resistance is a sign that you’re overly attached to one particular view or approach, and you’ve closed yourself off from openly exploring other avenues.  I’ve found that the biggest breakthroughs, learning and growth come when we muster the courage to walk directly toward — and through — what we resist the most.

*  *  *  *  *

Let me know how the experiment works!  What is your deepest entrepreneurial struggle, and what did you learn when you mustered the courage to walk through your resistance to Say Yes! to yourself and your business.

Thank you for sharing, and wishing you many happy breakthroughs.

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Advice, Breakthroughs, Careers, Challenges, Empowerment, Inspiration for Change, Kathy Caprino, Marketing Support, success, Uncategorized, Wake Up Calls | No Comments »

7 Reasons You Hate Marketing – And How to Learn to Love It

Saturday, November 13th, 2010

In ramping up my marketing consulting work with women consultants, practitioners, and entrepreneurs these past months, I’ve heard these words over and over:

 “I hate marketing.”

 or, more specifically…

 “I hate promoting myself.”

It’s an amazing thing to observe – that so many women today view marketing as sleazy, embarrassing, scary, or simply overwhelming.

Women tell me that marketing and networking are deeply challenging (and scare the pants off of them) for the following reasons (these are exact quotes):

 “I just feel like that sleazy used car salesman I hate.”

 “I don’t know how to go up to people and share what I do.”

 “I feel so intrusive to just blurt out that I can help someone.”

 “I’m too shy to do what’s necessary.”

 “I don’t understand how to do this – it’s all so overwhelming.”

 “I think I have to be like her (an aggressive, in-your-face networker) to be successful, and I just can’t.”

 “I love the work I do – why do I have to do this other marketing stuff?”

If these statements resonate with you, help is out there for you!

I’m here to tell you – marketing is not what you think.  And the sooner you can embrace your “inner marketer,” and learn to love her, the happier and more fulfilled you’ll be in your work.

 What Is Marketing?

First, marketing is not the hairy monster you’ve imagined.  It’s simply about letting people know you exist – via any and all of the many neat methods and forms available today – so that you can be of powerful and joyful service to the world. 

It’s about sharing your unique messages in an authentic, compelling way so that the people you love to serve can find you, and identify that you’re the right one to help them. 

Marketing is about bringing yourself to the market you want to help, and communicating, “I’m really awesome at what I do and offer, and I LOVE my work.  May I be of service to you?”

How to Embrace Your “Inner Marketer”

Let’s break this down to look at what’s really beneath the challenges you face in marketing. 

The key marketing obstacles for women fall into the same four categories that I uncovered in my national research with career women.  (For more about the 12 “hidden” crises working women face today, and how to overcome them, see my  book Breakdown, Breakthrough.)

These categories represent levels at which we interact with ourselves and our world, and can be characterized as either empowered or disempowered, based on each individual’s specific situation, in:

  • Your Relationship with Yourself
  • Your Relationship with the World
  • Your Relationship with Others
  • Your Relationship with Your Higher Self

These same relationship categories apply to your marketing endeavors and marketing persona. 

Here’s what you need to understand to become a comfortable and easy marketer and networker who likes it:

Your Relationship with Yourself

Confidence and Worthiness:

The key marketing challenges for women are confidence and worthiness.  Deep down, many are not quite sure they’re great at their work, and don’t have the self-confidence to come out say “I’m very talented at this work, and would love to be of service to you!”

Tip: You need to step up to embrace how great you are in your work.  And if you don’t feel you offer high-quality products and services, then you need a shift.  Identify the new skills, talents and experiences that will bring your work to the next level.  Go out and get those skills and experiences.  Don’t wait.

Your Relationship with Others

Two key marketing challenges come up here: speaking up with power and authority, and connecting deeply with others in your communications and your interactions.

Speaking Up:
Many women are challenged in speaking up about and for themselves with power, authority, and command. 

Tip: If you believe that speaking out about your gifts and talents means you’re bragging, think again.  How can people know about your work if you don’t tell them about it – in your speaking, writing, and interactions? Release this misguided belief that talking about your work is pushy or arrogant.

Connecting:
Getting out there in the world with your products and services means you have to connect to people from the heart, help them find their pain points and show how your work addresses want they want most.  People do business with people they know, like and trust, so you’ve got to give them the opportunity to know you.

Tip: If you’re shy and uncomfortable about connecting and interacting with people, get out there and do more of it.  If you’re too self-focused and self-limiting, you’ll find it hard to make the authentic connections you need to bring your work and business out there in a bigger way.

Relationship with the World:

The two core challenges here are: Money and Service

Embracing Money:
Many women are simply disempowered around their finances, and around earning, managing, and investing their money.  Often, they can’t seem to establish great fees/prices for their work, and or command these fees on a consistent basis.  Further, many women don’t have the financial planning experience to make their marketing efforts profitable.

Tip: Get financial help!  First, you must have a very clear sense of what your products and services are worth in the marketplace – not what you think they SHOULD be worth, but the true and perceived value of the outcomes you give to others.  Then you must acquire the confidence and strength to obtain these prices and fees, and negotiate powerfully for them when needed.  Secondly, don’t overspend on your business (on marketing or other initiatives) before you’ve learned how to earn.

Being of Service:
You need to know how you want to serve the world, and how you do it best, above and beyond the competition.  If you don’t know how you’re different from your competitors, the marketplace won’t know either, and you won’t get the business you want.

Tip: Name and claim the niche you serve best and are most joyful at working in.  Find ways to become an expert and truly gifted in the areas that light you up the most, and communicate your stand-apart qualities.

Relationship with Your Higher Self

Finally, the two essential marketing blocks here in terms of accessing your most expansive, highest self in your work are: Finding Role Models and Being Open to Angels (the human kind – and others, if you wish!)

Finding Role Models:
If you think that the only way to do marketing is the sleazy, intrusive and shameless kind, you’re just stuck in a misguided story that’s holding you back.  You need a new set of role models that you can see, hear, and follow, who are doing it the way you want to.

Tip: Find fabulous visual role models of marketers who are doing it the way you love.  Follow my “marketingpeeps” list on twitter (@kathycaprino) for a start.  These men and women are just a sampling of amazing communicators and marketers who do great work in the most authentic, heart-aligned and compelling way possible on the planet!

Opening to Angels:
If you hate marketing, you’re going to struggle in your business and creative ventures.  It’s that simple.  So get help to overcome your fears about it.  Be open to the angels that come in your life who want to help you move forward.  Find people you trust and respect, and ask them for their critique (yes, critique!), advice and support.  You don’t have to do this alone.  Angels are waiting in the wings to help you.

*  *  *  *

Learning how to get yourself out there and share your authentic messages with the world – and powering up to deal with this success outcomes that will follow – is one of the most enlivening and exciting processes you can undertake.

 Are you ready to embrace your Inner Marketer? I think Yes!

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Advice, Breakthroughs, Following Your Dreams, Inspiration for Change, Kathy Caprino, Levels of Disempowerment, Powerful Self-Marketing, success, Women in Business | No Comments »

The “Secret Sauce” to Your Success

Thursday, November 11th, 2010

Lately I’ve been focusing a good deal on “success” in my writing and workshops, and this month I had a startling realization:

“Success” is a concept and an experience that is utterly intimidating to many women.

In my experience, women view “success” as a label that automatically refers to wealth, power, influence, and control.  Rather than success referring to one’s own definition of achieving what you truly want in life and work, it’s become a reflection of how much money you’ve made and what you’ve put in the bank, along with other outer trappings of financial achievement.

Well, I don’t view success that way at all (anymore).  To me, success is this…

Achieving what you want — on your own personal terms, and following your own definition – and doing so in a way that is fulfilling and enriching to you. 

That’s success to me.

What is success to you? 

Turns out, most women fear and shudder at success. While they might say they want it, there’s a chronic lack of readiness for it. 

The Secret Sauce to Success

After years of reinventing myself and my life (and unfortunately being overly-attached to struggle), I’m in the process of letting go of struggle and letting in more peace and joy.  I’m finding my pathway to success is less bumpy as I let go of needing to struggle.

In doing so, my conceptualization and experience of “success” has changed dramatically.  I believe now that “success’ is all about claiming what you want, and doing the inner and out work of creating a joyful, peaceful and exciting life experience. 

For me, that includes building a purposeful career, for others it means something else.  Whatever it means to you, success offers the opportunity for a lifelong journey of learning, growing, applying what you’ve learned, and stretching to be the largest version of yourself.

My recipe for success – the “secret sauce” if you will, that I help others create — involves both “inner” and “outer” ingredients.  Both are needed for optimal success. 

The Inner ingredients you need:

Clarity – to experience yourself as successful, you must know what you want and tune out what society and culture and your “tribe” insist that you should have. 

Courage – once you know what you want, you can’t have it unless you risk parts of yourself to get it.

Faith – You must believe that success is possible; otherwise it won’t be.

Readiness – While we hanker for success, most of us aren’t ready for it.  We fear it, dread it and run from it.  To experience success, you must release what keeps from wanting change.

Positivity – If all you see in your worldview is negativity, you won’t have success.  You’ll miss vital opportunities and new pathways to your own growth

The Outer ingredients for success are:

Aligned and Inspired Action – We must take action to move forward – but the action needs to feel right and be in integrity, not coming from desperation or anger. 

Resourcefulness – If things aren’t working as they are, you must tap into all your inner and outer resources and support to make the right changes for you. 

Flexibility – Being overly attached how it must “look” is a recipe for struggle, not success. 

Openness – Success involves being open to those who are sent to us to offer just the help we need, and just the right time.  (And critique is important and necessary.)

Energy – You need energy, and lots of it, to create what you want. 

I’ve observed that my own attention to each of these ingredients in the last year has unlocked me powerfully, and moved me forward to my definition of success.

As a personal example, regarding Courage – I’ve known for a long time that having a speaking demo is essential for me if I wish to be invited to speak more frequently at the national level.  But I held back in filming myself in action, for many reasons, including: the timing wasn’t right, the venue wasn’t right, the topic wasn’t perfectly honed yet, etc.  But truthfully, deep down, the inner reason I held back was my lack of readiness to launch to the next level, and that I downright afraid of putting myself out there to be critiqued.

Last month, I finally bit the bullet and all things conspired for me to film my talk to 200+ career women at the Business Women’s Forum in Hartford, CT.  I did it! 

Here’s a look:

Is it perfect? No.  But is it perfect for me right now?  Yup! 

And it moved me forward in a powerful way to put myself out there.  Wonderful, aligned gigs, opportunities, partners and clients have come my way because of it.  Why? Because I decided “I am ready!” – I got over myself and got going.

What is your definition of success?  And do you feel ready for it today?  If not, can you muster the courage to increase your readiness and move forward, despite your fears?

Please share your thoughts about what scares you most about moving forward to your definition of “knock- your-socks-off” success.

Thank you for your openness and courage to share – you help others so much when you do.

Tags: , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Breakthroughs, Careers, Empowerment, Inspiration for Change, Kathy Caprino, Living Real, success | No Comments »

5 Reasons You’re Miserable at Work and What to Do about It

Tuesday, June 22nd, 2010

Last week, I held a free teleclass for women on the “5 Reasons You’re Miserable at Work and What To Do About It,” based on key findings from my national research with scores of working women across the country and my book Breakdown, Breakthrough.  More than 90 women signed up for the call, and they confirmed yet again what so many women have been unable able to say out loud until now, which is, “I’m unhappy at work, but I’m not sure exactly why or what to do about it!”

Whether you are a corporate professional, self-employed or in transition, if you need to find a different way to work, don’t worry. Help is on the way!  And you’re definitely not alone.

Below are what I’ve found to be the top five reasons so many women are dissatisfied and unfulfilled at work, along with concrete tips to revise your situation and change course today.

The top 5 reasons many women are miserable at work are –

They find it impossible to balance work and family

  1. They suffer from chronic financial distress
  2. They struggle using skills and talents that aren’t “natural” to them
  3. They feel chronically undervalued and disrespected
  4. They experience little joy or positive meaning in their work

If the above describes your experience, here are some tips to help you create an internal shift away from feeling trapped and disempowered, to feeling more confident, courageous and committed to making positive career change today (and feel free to write me at kathy@elliacommunications.com if you’d like a download of the recording of the call).

Tips for Positive Career Change:

1) Gain More Work-Life Balance

Balance is not going to just fall in your lap.  You have to claim it, and commit to getting it.  How?  First, determine the three most important priorities you are committed to achieving in your personal and in your professional life.  What are the three things that are vital to you to bring about — that matter more than anything else?  Formulate these in terms of “to be” statements such as “to be a loving mother or “to be a successful entrepreneur” or “to be a helper of others.”

Uncover the three top achievements that you are longing to bring about in your life and work and that you will not compromise on.  Then commit yourself to these.  Discover where you are over-functioning (doing more than is necessary, more than is healthy, and more than is appropriate) in your life, your family, and work, and let go of doing too much and being perfect in the areas that don’t matter as much to you.  Once you take these steps, you’ll find that balance comes more easily to you, because you are being guided each day by the knowledge of what you want to create, and knowing you are 1000% committed to doing it.

2) Get Healthy with Your Money

To get out of chronic financial distress, you must become intimately connected with your money and begin to recognize your real intrinsic worth.  First, create a solid budget with strong financial goals, and stick to it.  Examine your spending – are you buying things in order to soothe your soul?  If so, stop over-spending.  Look at your beliefs around money that you learned as a child from living with your family.  Are your beliefs about money positive or negative, expansive or constricting? Do you believe you deserve wealth and abundance, or are you ashamed of the money you have or don’t have?  Overall, the key to overcoming chronic financial distress is to heal your relationship with money through positive and healthy beliefs, actions, and choices.  Once you create a supportive money relationship, you will no longer stay in jobs that create financial distress or drain you of joy and energy.  You’ll know your worth, and begin claiming it, on your professional path and otherwise.

3) Use Skills that Are Fun and Natural - 

It’s vitally important to understand exactly what talents and skills are easy and fun for you to use, and then find a way (either in your existing job or in a new field or job) to tap these talents more frequently at work.  To get more in touch with what you love to do and what comes easily, take my free Career Path Assessment.  Figure out what you want to do more of, less of, and never again!  Often, what you love to do and what comes easily to you were apparent in your childhood, so start there.  What did you thoroughly enjoy as a kid that people noticed, admired and praised?  You might also realize in doing this exercise that just because you’re great at a task or endeavor at work doesn’t mean you like to do it!  The key to an easier and happier work-life is to use talents that come naturally and are fun to you, so that each day feels like a joy, not a struggle.

4) Claim Your Self-Respect

If you’re chronically undervalued or mistreated at work and want people to change their treatment of you, you must start with SELF-respect.  How do you gain self-respect?  Through courageous action that inspires your own self-esteem – action that you know you should be taking, but haven’t found the nerve to take.  Now’s the time to become more authentic and real in your work. Speak up about who you are and what’s important to you.  Make yourself right, not wrong.  If you know something needs to be communicated, figure out a way to do it as soon as possible.  Find an advocate or mentor at work to help you speak up in the right way so that you will be heard and respected for your viewpoint.  Start enforcing your boundaries so that you know exactly what you will tolerate and accept from others, and what you won’t. 

5) Find Work that Gives Your Life Joy and Meaning

It’s a myth in our culture that we can’t make good money doing what we love.  However, it takes grit, determination, and courage to pursue a path that you love and to make it work for you financially.  If you want more joy and meaning — and financial success at the same time — determine what endeavors and activities make you joyful in your life, and begin today to bringing these forward.  The key is to understand 1) the essence of what you want, and then 2) find the right form of it. For instance, you might love to sing (as I do), and wonder if singing to earn money would make you happy.  To find out if a new path is right for you, research, research, research – interview people in the field, read all about the art and craft of singing professionally, take classes, find a mentor, and determine a way to “try it on’ before you leap.  You might discover that earning money singing as a full-time living isn’t for you, but you love to do on a part-time or hobby basis.  If that’s the case, join a volunteer or community singing group each week, and honor this as a heart-aligned endeavor. 

If you discover that you want a different line of work from your current job, create a plan that allows you to 1) research thoroughly what you want to do, 2) “try it on” as a volunteer or on part-time basis, then 3) commit to moving toward this new path with a solid financial plan, support of family and friends (and a coach if you’d like one), along with a step-by-step blueprint for what it will take to reinvent your career.

The Ultimate Outcome – Joy!

It’s up to you to create a career that you love, and you can do it!  Start today.  Let the top five reasons you’re miserable at work be the catalyst you need to change your career and change your life.  Trust me on this one…when you step up to a path of building a career you love, you’ll expand to new heights you never thought possible.

Tags: , , , , ,
Posted in Advice, Breakthroughs, Careers, Challenges, Empowerment, Inspiration for Change, Kathy Caprino, success, Women in Business | 1 Comment »

“Terrible Career Advice” for Women

Thursday, April 15th, 2010

I love reading Penelope Trunk’s posts – they’re always thought-provoking, controversial and stimulating.  I’m thankful that she has a large voice and an even larger audience because she is able to prod so many of us to think about what we truly believe, in comparison with and contrast to her very strident views.

I must say, though, that her recent post on BNET – Terrible Career Advice Women Give Each Other - really got me going, and I have a feeling it will arouse a vigorous response from you too.

Please do check it out!  And read my comments on her post here:

Penelope, you’re always interesting to read and ponder, but sometimes you get it SO wrong. This is one of those times. Wrong, wrong, wrong, and so skewed to the negative.

Everything you’ve shared flies in the face of what I know to be true as a woman, a high-level professional, a trained therapist, and a career coach who’s helped hundreds of women succeed on their own terms.

First, I’ve been sexually harassed at work, and it’s hellacious. I didn’t do anything about it — just to save my skin and my job — and let me tell you, that’s the wrong advice. For God’s sake, if you encourage women to grin and bear it and shut up about it, what does that say about you as an advocate for women, and about the future we can expect for women in the workplace? Yes, what you do about harrassment depends on the gravity of the situation, but if it’s grave, you must find a true advocate (even if it’s outside the organization) and speak up.

Secondly, I was married at 30, had two fantastically beautiful children at 34 and 37. I’m 50 now, and it all unfolded as I wanted it to. Women need to decide for themselves when to marry and when to have kids. If they listen to you (or anyone else) about it, they’re barking up the wrong tree. It’s absurd to advise a woman about this – it’s a deeply personal issue.

Thirdly, of course books don’t make you a good leader – you make you a good leader. But reading, exploring, inquiring, learning, and stretching yourself through powerful books and ideas is a terrific way to become more of who you really are.

Sometimes I wish your views weren’t always so skewed to the extreme negative – it’s fun that you’re a contrarian, but it’s not as beneficial as it could be that your writings are so overwhelming bleak. Spice it up with some positivity, will you?

But thanks, as always, for getting us going!

_______________________________________________________

So folks, I’d LOVE to hear from you.  PLEASE! leave a comment below.  What do you think about Penelope’s views, and mine.  Share your voice! 

Give us some great career advice for women – puleese!

Tags: , , , , , , ,
Posted in Advice, Breakthroughs, Careers, Challenges, Empowerment, Kathy Caprino | 2 Comments »

Top Five Mistakes to Avoid in Career Reinvention

Monday, May 4th, 2009

After spending eight years reinventing myself from a corporate VP to an entrepreneur, women’s career and life coach, author, speaker and women’s work-life expert, I’ve made a good number of huge mistakes and missteps that have tripped me up, and at times, caused me to hang my head in my hands in despair.  I don’t believe in regret, and I do think that each and every one of these lessons has made me stronger, more expansive, more connected to who I really am, and ultimately more confident in my abilities to direct my life with satisfaction and joy.

 

Here are what I’ve learned are the top five mistakes to avoid when in career transition and embarking on professional reinvention.  I’ve lived through these mistakes myself, and am stronger for it…but you don’t have to!

 

Mistake #1:

Don’t have a “build it and they will come” mentality without utilizing powerful financial, professional, and business-building tactics and strategies

 

Don’t make the mistake of confusing wishful thinking with powerful strategies for moving forward.  Certainly, faith and optimism are essential, but so are sound business and professional goals, plans and tactics, developed with deep know-how and expertise (your own or a great consulting partner), fueled by conscious intention and fierce commitment.

 

Mistake #2:

Don’t underestimate how long it will take you to build a successful new career

 

Leave your ego at the door when you’re evaluating how long full reinvention will take.  Get advice from true experts in the field on the amount of time it will take to launch your new career, and make it very successful.  It’s been said that becoming an expert in a field takes 10 years (I believe that’s true), and creating a self-sustaining small consulting practice often takes at least five years.

 

 

Mistake #3:

Don’t neglect having a Plan B, and moving to it when it’s time

 

In my book Breakdown, Breakthrough, I talk about what it takes to reinvent yourself.  Often it requires that you simply refuse to let in (mentally, emotionally, or spiritually) the possibility that you will fail (see Chapter 11 about the amazing comedian Monique Marvez’s journey to hell and back).  If you want something badly enough, most likely you’ll find a way to get it.  However, if you have a family to support, and other critical financial and other obligations that you feel you must fulfill in life, then you need a Plan B that will get you through the tough financial times.  Use Plan B to help you stay afloat while all along moving forward to your career dreams.

 

Mistake #4

Don’t wait too long to correct your course when you misstep or discover steps on your new path that are wrong for you

 

Set milestones (I will achieve this by this date, etc.), and review your progress frequently.   If you’re way off course, you need to course-correct.  Also, if where you’re going ends up feeling wrong, don’t keep going in the same direction.  Don’t make yourself “wrong” for how you feel.   Realize a change is necessary, and power up to make that change.

 

Mistake #5

Don’t forget: A fantastic life takes fantastic risks

 

There’s an enormous difference between a “job” and a “calling.”  Neither is better or worse – it simply depends on what you want for your life, based on your values and priorities.  If it’s a calling you wish to follow, know now that it will require everything you’ve got to give, and then some.  Please don’t expect a fantastic life without understanding that you must risk a great deal to live your life on the cutting edge of experience.

 

Other lessons I’ve learned through my eight-year reinvention:

 

  1. There will be times (many, in fact) that you have no idea what to do, and despite all your efforts, you fail at the task at hand
  2. If you don’t remain “teachable” at all times, you’ll suffer
  3. If you think you’re immune (to anything – the economy, challenges in the workplace, problems in building your business to a satisfactory level) you’re wrong
  4. When you lose your compassion for others who are challenged in their reinvention or in their efforts to launch themselves successfully, you’ll suddenly experience something that brings you back to humility
  5. You’ll need faith, patience, and perseverance in greater supply than you ever thought possible
  6. It’s not all up to you
  7. Reaching out for help is essential when you’re not where you want to be
  8. Being part of a like-minded community that offers support, guidance, and encouragement is a blessing and a good business strategy
  9. Career reinventing is a life-long process (not a one-time deal), and once you embark on it, it changes you forever.  It’s a process that leads you to feel so appreciative of all that you are – flaws, gifts, strengths, blindspots and all – and so excited for each new day that brings you closer to yourself.
  10. Reinvention is not for the faint of heart, but oh my…if you’re up for it, what gifts it brings.

 

Wishing you a very happy reinvention!

 

Tags: , , , , ,
Posted in Advice, Careers, Following Your Dreams, Inspiration for Change, Support for Change | No Comments »

What to Do When Options Run Out? Take a New Path

Tuesday, April 7th, 2009

In the past several months, I’ve worked with a great number of clients who have found themselves at what seems to be a complete dead-end professionally.  Avenues they were fully passionate about pursuing (and would have allowed for successful employment only a year ago) have dried up, with precious few opportunities remaining, for the time being.  As we know, the world has changed.

 

For example, one of my clients reinvented herself completely over the past several years, from market research director to science teacher, only to find there are simply no jobs available in her geographic region.  Another client is crystal clear that she wants to write as a profession, but feels that starting up now as a freelance writer, given the implosion of the publishing world as we know it, would be a recipe for disaster.

 

What should we do when the path we desperately long to pursue is blockaded?  I say we turn a corner, take a fork in the road, and re-direct – ultimately find a revised path that allows you to succeed in these times, while honoring your authentic values.  There isn’t only one job in the world that will make you happy, or one career path (I feel this is true about choosing a mate as well – there isn’t just one person with whom you could build a happy, fulfilled life.)

 

So often, we become overly-attached to what we think will make us happy or get us out of our misery, and we miss the (rescue) boat completely.  What’s that story, about the man who finds himself in a flood, with water covering his home?  I think it goes something like this…

 

As the flood occurred, the man said to himself, “I know God will save me.  I won’t worry.”  But as the water rose, things become dire.  First, someone offers the man a hand to take him to higher ground, but the man says, “No thanks, I’m waiting for God to save me.”  As the water flooded his home, a group in a rowboat came by, and shouted, “Come on, come in the boat with us and be saved!”  The man said, “No thank you, I’m waiting for God to save me.” A day later, as the man clung to the roof of his house, a helicopter came to save him.  He yelled to the pilot, “No thank you, I’m waiting for God to save me.”  The man drowned. 

When he saw God in heaven, he said, “Why didn’t you save me??” God replied, “I sent three forms of rescue…it was up to you to take them.”

 

So the question is…what forms of rescue can you find that will keep your heart and soul intact while also keep you afloat, financially, emotionally, and spiritually?  Open your heart and mind to new avenues, and they will become apparent.

 

What rescue options have you pursued lately, and how have they worked out?

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Careers, Empowerment, Inspiration for Change, Tips for Empowerment | No Comments »

What Do You Mean, You’re Taking a Walk? You Have Job-Hunting to Do!

Friday, March 27th, 2009

Last night, I participated as a speaker in a powerful panel workshop in Connecticut on Creative Strategies for Your Job Search and Career Transition, a “Rewrite Your Tomorrow” event sponsored by Jaffe Life Design (www.jaffelifedesign.com).  It was a very moving experience, an empathic and genuine sharing of men and women in all phases of career change – some laid off, some wanting to reinvent, some starting their own businesses – and all were in deep transition. 

 

To me, the most compelling theme that emerged was around the idea of self-care, and how challenging it is today to do what’s healthy, positive, and enlivening for ourselves.  We all know cognitively what we need to do to take care of our bodies, minds, and souls, but precious few of us really do it each day, especially now, in times of chaos. 

 

Why is that?  Why do we resist doing the very things that always make us feel better, more energized, hopeful, and powerful?

 

There are several reasons why we don’t do what makes us feel good:

 

1) We feel guilty about giving to ourselves, especially when we’re in fear, or when we believe we should be doing even more work to help ourselves (like sending out another 10 resumes to find a job)

2) We buckle under the pressure of others (spouses, friends, colleagues) who judge and criticize us if we take time out to care for ourselves

 

3) Deep down, we don’t believe that we deserve to be well-treated or cared for, even by ourselves

 

4) And finally, when we’re locked into fear and scarcity mode, it takes a good deal of energy and commitment to disengage from that familiar anxiety and malaise that we’ve been perpetuating

 

So what is self-care anyway and how can you do it?

 

To me, self-care means attending to your body, spirit, and emotions.  It’s giving back to yourself each day — fueling, restoring and replenishing yourself, after having given so much away each day.  How should you do it?  There are millions of ways – from taking a walk or taking a bath, turning off your computer when you’re exhausted, having fun or having sex, or seeing a movie that makes you laugh or cry.  It’s eating delicious, fresh food, drinking lots of cool water, and exercising in enjoyable ways too.

 

Most importantly, it’s not work – it’s whatever you find exciting, fun and restorative – it’s what brings balance, peace and joy to your life and body. 

 

As a career transition coach, I’d like to offer this official proclamation now – stop looking for a job, and starting living again.  Find the fun, be like a child again – laugh, dance, sing, make a painting, start over, see it anew.

 

Our world has been “reset.”  Now’s the time to do the same – “reset” your life to nurturing, forgiving and loving yourself each day.

 

(I’m going for a walk now!)

 

Tags: , , , , , ,
Posted in Feeling Your Best, Support for Change | No Comments »

Are You Having an Allergic Reaction – of the Spiritual Kind?

Saturday, March 14th, 2009

Yesterday I was speaking with a good friend about an experience I have that I call a spiritual “allergic” reaction.  This intense reaction makes me feel off-center, exhausted, and downright lousy, when I get it.  It’s physical, but also occurs in another dimension of my experience. At first, years ago, I wasn’t sure what it was.  “Am I getting a cold, or did I eat something bad?” I used to wonder.

 

Now I know exactly what it is…it’s my body and my spirit telling me that what I’m doing-– how I’m seeing things, or the way I’m reacting and behaving – is damaging or limiting me in some way, and I need to stop and reverse course, now.

 

I’ve had this reaction on more than a number of occasions recently, when I’ve been feeling out of control and eliciting too much outside advice (and not listening to myself), or when I’ve needed to embrace a “beginner’s mind” and stop being a know-it-all (a habit of mine that’s quite annoying, to me and others).   I’ve had an allergic reaction also to my lack of forgiveness or acceptance of someone or something—or of myself—and when I’ve needed to shout my mouth and stop giving advice to those who simply didn’t ask for it.  These “allergic” reactions help me point myself in a new direction, and allow me to realize again that I can’t fix things or control what’s outside of my purview.

 

I’m deeply grateful for my specific brand of allergic reaction, because it tells me I need to revise my thinking and actions to feel better, and live better.  Once I make the necessary shift, I do feel better, and life and work goes much more smoothly and joyfully, for that week, at least.

 

What’s your spiritual allergic reaction look and feel like?  And what is it telling you about what needs to be shifted or addressed?  

 

Tags: , , , , , ,
Posted in Feeling Your Best, Inspiration for Change, Wake Up Calls | No Comments »

« Older Entries
Newer Entries »