Posts Tagged ‘Careers’

« Older Entries

The 7 Reasons Women Don’t Talk About Success

Friday, January 6th, 2012
Français : L'actrice américaine Shirley MacLai...

Image via Wikipedia

As a career and executive coach dedicated to the advancement of women, it’s not often these days that I’m surprised by women’s behavior. I know women – especially midlife ones – quite well, or so I thought.    But I’ve been rocked recently by a finding that’s emerging from my research on Women Succeeding Abundantly.  This study explores the stories of working women across the country, ages 25 to 75 who are experiencing abundant success on their own terms as they define it, and are thriving and living joyfully.

I’m learning as the study progresses that women are much more comfortable talking about how things are not what they want in their lives, than they are sharing about their successes. They just very reluctant to come forward and admit, “Hey, I’m really successful, and I’m proud of that!”

A friend of mine recently shared with me that when Shirley MacLaine won her Oscar in 1984 for her role in “Terms of Endearment,” she was certainly grateful in her acceptance speech, but also declared, “Thanks, I deserve this!” 

Nuggets of Shirley’s speech…

“I don’t believe there are such things as accidents.  I think that we all manifest what we want and what we need.  I don’t think there’s a difference really between what you feel you have to do in your heart, and success – they’re inseparable…Films and life are like clay waiting for us to mold it, and when you trust your own insides and that becomes achievement, it’s a kind of principle it seems to me is at work with everyone…God bless that potential that we all have for making anything possible if we think we deserve it.  I deserve this.  Thank you!”

From that sentiment of her feeling of deservedness, there was some backlash – in other words, people thought “How dare she say she deserves to win!”

Wow…I guess we had better not even whisper that we’ve earned our great success and that it’s well-deserved.  It’s just not yet acceptable yet for women to do so.  And this is not something we’ve “made up” in our minds.  Unfortunately, national research shows that success and likability are positively correlated for men and negatively correlated for women.  In other words – women who are successful aren’t liked as well as successful men.

CLICK HERE to read my full Huffington Post article on why women don’t talk about their success. 

Are you reluctant to share your successes openly?  If so, what holds you back the most?

Enhanced by Zemanta

Tags: , , , , , ,
Posted in Careers, Empowerment, Kathy Caprino, Women in Business | No Comments »

The Top Six Reasons People Want to Leave Their Careers

Monday, July 11th, 2011

(Thrilled that this piece was published on Forbes.com last week!)

As a career and executive coach, I’ve spoken with hundreds of professionals who’ve shared some version of, “I really want to leave my job and change my career, but I’m not sure what to do or where to go from here.”

If I’ve heard this message once, I’ve heard it 1000 times now.  People spend years crafting careers that appear successful on the outside, only to find that at some point, usually in midlife, the career comes up short. It’s missing a vital component (or several) that turns the work into something dreaded – less than fulfilling, lacking in purpose, unstable, inauthentic, unsustainable, or a combination of all of the above.

I’ve personally lived this experienced as well – waking up at age 40 to depression, exhaustion, chronic illness, lack of ability to balance my family life and work, and feeling completely disengaged from the corporate professional identity I’d spent 18 years forging (see Breakdown Breakthrough for more).

Why are so many folks miserable in their work and long for change?

Here’s what I’ve found to be the top six reasons people are dissatisfied with their work and want out:

1. Balance: They find it impossible to balance work and outside/family life
2. Money: The money they earn isn’t enough to sustain them or their families
3. Skills: The skills and talents required for their work aren’t are a good fit
4. Respect: They feel chronically undervalued or mistreated
5. Meaning: They experience little positive meaning or purpose in their work
6. Struggle: It’s simply too hard to keep going with it

In short, they’re saying: “I don’t know what I want, but I know it’s not this.”

As the economy rallies, more and more employees are asking themselves, “Can I leave my job yet?”  But I’ve discovered that if the above challenges aren’t effectively addressed in some core way BEFORE you leave your current job or career, they’ll follow you wherever you go. 

If the above describes your experience, read on for some tips to help you create the change you want — away from feeling trapped, toward feeling more confident, courageous and committed to making positive career change today.

1) Commit Yourself to What You Want

A fulfilling, satisfying life is not going to just fall in your lap.  You have to claim it, and commit to getting it with concentrated, continual effort.  You have to work it. 

How?  First, figure out what is the most important thing in the whole world to you.  What matters more than anything else?  (For more on this, see Ric Elias’ moving TED Talk on 3 Lessons I Learned As My Plane Crashed). 

Formulate this priority in terms of a “to be” statement such as “to be a great parent” or “to be a successful entrepreneur” or “to be a helper of others.”   Then commit yourself to honoring this priority.  Stop over-functioning (doing more than is necessary, more than is healthy, and more than is appropriate) in your life, your family, and work, and let go being perfect in the areas that don’t matter to you.

2) Refine Your Focus

Do you know exactly which talents and skills are easy and natural for you to use, that give your work a sense of purpose?  Do you know what type of work would represent an ideal fit? Are you in touch with your core values, standards of integrity and life goals? 

We have to understand our unique answers to these questions before we even contemplate making a major career change.  Why? Because if you don’t understand who you are and what you want uniquely, you’ll end up making career change based on the wrong reasons and incomplete information, and the new career will disappoint you once again.

Take my Career Path Assessment (CLICK HERE to access the free Assessment survey) and figure out what you want to do more of, less of, and never again. Then find a way (either in your existing job or in a new field or job) to tap your true and natural talents more frequently and deeply.

3) Access the Courage to Make Change

During the eight years I’ve been a career coach, I’ve literally met thousands of miserable, depressed professionals who share their story of misery, but then do nothing concrete about it.  I’ve analyzed why this is so – why so many people remain paralyzed in their misery – and I have some hypotheses as to what holds us back from life change (stay tuned for an upcoming blog post on that). 

But what I do know is that if you don’t take concrete action that is different in content and process from what you’ve done before, your life and career will not change.

In the end, you can’t solve a problem on the level it was created.

Whether you’re in your own business and it’s simply not working, or the job you’re in brings too much struggle every day, it’s time for change.  Let’s face it, most of us wait until there’s a full-blown crisis (read about the 12 “hidden” crises working women face) before we do something different.  I’ve personally lived through all 12 of the major crises professional women face, so I get it.  But I’m asking you NOT to make the same mistakes I did.  Get outside your own head, and get outside help to figure out what you really want, and how to get it.

So, what’s your top reason for wanting out of your line of work?  And are you ready to do something about it?

Tags: , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Breakthroughs, Careers, Challenges, Empowerment, Inspiration for Change, Kathy Caprino | 2 Comments »

The Myth of Career Bliss: Why Chucking Your Career Doesn’t Solve Your Problems

Wednesday, June 8th, 2011

I’ve spent eight years working with individuals to achieve successful professional growth, change, and reinvention.  I know a good deal about the process personally too, as I’ve traversed a number of diverging career paths over the past 20 years, including corporate marketing, market research, marriage and family therapy, coaching, writing, speaking, and executive recruitment.

If you asked me my views on career reinvention five years ago, I would have said some very different things than I do today. 

So what’s different? 

In the past three years, I’ve learned what’s required (for myself and others) to navigate through highly challenging financial times while at the same time successfully achieving a more fulfilling professional life. 

I’m not talking about pie-in-the-sky, follow-your-bliss nonsense here.  I’m talking about real-life positive career and life change that lasts and continues to reap benefit and reward.

The Myth of Career Bliss

But today, as new clients come to me – both men and women — I see an alarming myth that thousands of midlife individuals have been suckered into believing.  It’s hitting baby boomer folks hard, and honestly, I don’t see this same myth prevalent in younger generations.  I call it the “myth of career bliss” – the damaging, misleading notion that all it takes to make your life happier is to chuck out your old, unsatisfying career, and come up with a new one, despite what else is falling apart in your life.

Here’s how the story goes:

A midlife professional woman comes to me after 15+ years of corporate work.  She’s awakened to the following realizations, and they hurt:

  • It feels as if her work has no contributive value in the world any more (for instance, she feels she’s “selling” something that doesn’t matter at all or isn’t of positive influence in the world)
  • She’s bored out of her mind doing the work she knows best
  • Her family needs her substantial income of $100M+
  • Her husband and children have grown accustomed to her overfunctioning and her perfectionism, and don’t want things to change too much. (Note: she handles over 75% of the domestic responsibility as well as her full-time job, and she’s worn out, stressed and depressed.  And her overfunctioning has held her husband back from contributing his fair share, financially, domestically, and otherwise.)
  • She feels an urgent need to change her personal and professional situation
  • She’s in a financial trap, not having saved enough money to take several years off to re-strategize, gain new education or training, and reinvent her career path
  • On top of these stresses, there are relationship, behavioral and other issues with her family members (elderly parents, children, spouse, etc.) that need urgent addressing
  • Despite the fact that numerous dimensions of this individual’s life are truly in “breakdown” mode, she believes that it’s a new career she should focus on, as (in her mind) that will bring her life the joy, peace, excitement, meaning, health, and purpose she longs for.

The problem is, it’s simply not true. 

In her case — and for hundreds of thousands of individuals in the world today — it’s not a wholesale career change that will bring you the satisfaction and peace you want.  Instead, it’s taking hard, urgently-needed action that addresses the root causes of your troubles that will make the difference in your career and life.

Busting the Career Bliss Myth: The Top Six Steps You Need to Take to Change Your Life for the Better

Here’s what has to happen for your life to change for the better… and it isn’t job change, for now. 

1)  Power up and speak up – Figure out who you really are, and what you’re intrinsically worth as an individual in this world.  Start honoring what you want to create in your life, and make your partner at home a real partner so you’re not doing everything at home and everything for everyone else around you (see Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg’s powerful TEDTalk on this and two other key behaviors that will propel women forward in the workforce).

2) Build a stronger, more empowered relationship with money – take control of your finances.  Know down to the penny what you need to earn, and learn how to save more, manage better, and grow your money. 

3) Determine your three TOP life priorities, then make sure you’re attending to those before you even consider career change.  For instance, if you’re dealing with a serious health issue, or a child’s behavioral problems, or the need to move, or you’re facing foreclosure, you must attend to these priorities first.

4) Stop procrastinating and get going – look at where you feel most disempowered and helpless in your life and your career today.  Take steps to address these power gaps.  Unless you do this in your life and job now, your problems will follow you no matter what new career path or job you take.

5) Re-purpose and re-focus your skills and talents – In these very challenging employment times, rather than throwing the baby out with the bathwater and chucking your whole career spend some critical time with a trained and skilled career coach, mentor, or advisor who can help you identify what you’re truly great at and enjoy doing, and determine the best, most appropriate way to bring forward these talents and skills in a job that fits your needs. 

6) Then develop a S.M.A.R.T. transition plan to get you from where you are today, to where you want to go.

 In short, don’t look to career reinvention to solve your problems.  It won’t.  Only you can solve your problems.  And the time to start dealing with them is now.

What are your top three life priorities today and are you addressing them?

 

Tags: , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Books, Breakthroughs, Careers, Challenges, Empowerment, Kathy Caprino, Support for Change, Women in Business | 9 Comments »

What My Five Careers Have Taught Me: Top 10 Lessons of Career Reinvention

Monday, May 23rd, 2011

I’ve significantly revised my career numerous times over my 25 years of working, and each time, I’ve learned some powerful, surprising lessons — about myself, my capabilities, perceptions, misconceptions, and about what it takes for me to attain what I want.

Each career shift led me down a new path, and often, the destination wasn’t at all what I’d hoped or planned.  Huge mistakes were made, certainly, but what I’ve learned has been of great value and utility, allowing me to focus ever more closely on what matters to me.

As I examine my trajectory, my career paths have involved the following fields, industries, and skills (or a combination of these):

  • Copywriting and marketing – in scientific publishing
  • New product development and market research – in book clubs, publishing and membership services
  • Marketing – professional book clubs
  • Product Management –  in consumer membership services
  • Marriage and Family Therapy
  • Life/Career Coaching
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Women’s Career/Executive Coaching
  • Writing, Speaking
  • Marketing Consulting for Entrepreneurs
  • Executive Recruiting

In remembering who I was as a youngster and young adult, and all the endeavors I loved throughout my life and the roles I’ve assumed, I can now see core, recurring themes about who I am and what I love to do,  including:

  • Understanding human behavior
  • Helping address people’s needs
  • Serving as a empathic listener
  • Discovering and testing new models and creating new solutions
  • Transforming chaos into order
  • Identifying compelling messages/benefits and finding well-matched receivers of those products/benefits
  • Communicating through writing, speaking and performing
  • Using positive thinking and positivity models to be of help
  • Connecting people with endeavors they thrive at
  • Supporting people through dramatic change

I’ve marveled at how my deepest values, preferences, and interests have remained almost unchanged since I was a child, and I’ve seen this same phenomenon in hundreds of folks I’ve coached.

The key lesson I’ve learned through my career reinventions is this– what you loved as a child and young person you most likely still love.  And the key to having a fulfilling professional life is to find the right form in which to honor the essence of who you are and what you love.

As one of my favorite authors, Maria Nemeth, of The Energy of Money says, we’re all happiest when we’re giving form to our Life Intentions in ways that support our lives and help the world.

 So what have my numerous careers taught me?  Here are my top 10 lessons:

1)      Starting over as a beginner is a refreshing, and empowering step that keeps you engaged and enlivened

2)      Being a non-expert reconnects you to your humility

3)      You need a great deal of help from others to be who you want to be

4)       You have core skills and talents that long to be utilized in this lifetime (and you’ll be sick and sad if you deny them)

5)      If you’re doing something you love, but the form of it doesn’t fit your life needs and priorities, you’ll suffer

6)      You can’t hurry love – you won’t succeed if you’re in a desperate rush to be great at something you love

7)      Applying yourself to something new reaffirms your courage, gifts and weaknesses, and what you need to heal in yourself

8)      There is absolutely no security or stability except in what you feel inside of yourself

9)      There is no perfect career – there’s only the perfectly imperfect journey of applying yourself to something you love and value

10)   Embracing a new professional identity changes you because of the new realities you create (which is completely different from dreaming about it from the outside, for all eternity)

I remember being moved after reading this beautiful passage from Viktor Frankl’s powerful book, Man’s Search for Meaning, (a MUST-read book for everyone), and it has stuck with me all these years:

“…The person who attacks the problems of life actively is like a man who removes each successive leaf from his calendar and files it neatly and carefully away with its predecessors, after first having jotted down a few diary notes on the back. He can reflect with pride and joy on all the richness set down in these notes, on all the life he has already lived to the fullest.  What will it matter to him if he notices that he is growing old? Has he any reason to envy the young people he sees, or wax nostalgic over his own lost youth? What reasons has he to envy a young person?  For the possibilities the young person has, the future which is in store for him? “No thank you,” he will think. “Instead of possibilities, I have realities in my past, not only the reality of work done and of love loved, but of sufferings bravely suffered.  These sufferings are even the things of which I’m most proud, though these are things which cannot inspire envy.”

In the end, it’s about living life to the fullest.  If finding new work is something you dream of, all I can say to you is, “Do it.”

What new work do you dream about doing?  Do you have the courage to make that dream a reality?

Tags: , , , , , , ,
Posted in Breakthroughs, Careers, Challenges, Following Your Dreams, Inspiration for Change, Kathy Caprino, Support for Change, Uncategorized | 6 Comments »

The Top 6 Reasons People Want Out of Their Work

Wednesday, May 11th, 2011

I’ve recently become immersed in executive search work through my new role as Marketing VP for Synergy Partners USA – a specialized executive search firm based in Wilton, CT.  I’m loving the new work — it helps me be of service both to individuals who want to enhance their careers, and organizations who want top marketing talent to help them build and grow.  I’m also connecting with terrific HR and senior management folks committed to diversity and providing career development programs for their female talent as well, which I love to provide through my firm Ellia Communications.  It’s cool!

As a career coach and in exec search work, I’ve spoken with scores of professionals who’ve shared some version of, “I’m really ready for a change, but I’m not sure exactly where to go from here.”

If I’ve heard this message once, I’ve heard it 1000 times now.  So many people spend years crafting careers that appear successful on the outside, only to find that at some point, usually in midlife, the career comes up short.  It’s missing some vital component (or several) that turns the work into something less than fulfilling, lacking in purpose, unstable, inauthentic, unsustainable, or a combination of all of the above.

Why are so many folks dissatisfied with their work and long for change?

Here’s what I’ve found to be the top six reasons people are dissatisfied with their work and want out:

1. They find it impossible to balance work and outside life

2. The money they earn isn’t enough to sustain them or their families

3. The skills and talents required for their work aren’t are a good fit

4. They feel chronically undervalued or mistreated

5. They experience little positive meaning or purpose in their work

6. It’s simply too hard to keep going with it

In short, they’re saying: “I don’t know what I want, but I know it’s not this.”

If the above describes your experience, read on for some tips to help you create the change you want — away from feeling trapped, toward feeling more confident, courageous and committed to making positive career change today.

1) Claim More Balance

Balance is not going to just fall in your lap.  You have to claim it, and commit to getting it.  How?  First, determine the three most important priorities you are committed to achieving in your personal and professional life.  What are the three things that are vital to you to bring about — that matter more than anything else?  Formulate these in terms of “to be” statements such as “to be a great parent” or “to be a successful entrepreneur” or “to be a helper of others.”   Then commit yourself to these.  Stop over-functioning (doing more than is necessary, more than is healthy, and more than is appropriate) in your life, your family, and work, and let go of doing too much and being perfect in the areas that don’t matter as much to you. 

2) Power Up with Money

To get out of financial distress, you have to become intimately connected with your money.  Create a solid budget with strong financial goals, and stick to it.  Understand what you need to survive and thrive.  Examine your spending – are you buying things in order to soothe your soul?  If so, stop over-spending.  Look at your beliefs around money that you learned as a child from living with your family.  Are your beliefs about money positive or negative, expansive or constricting? Do you believe you deserve wealth and abundance, or are you ashamed of the money you have or don’t have?  Overall, the key to overcoming chronic financial problems is to heal your relationship with money through positive and healthy beliefs, actions, and choices.  Develop an empowered money relationship, and you’ll no longer act in ways that create financial distress or drain you of your financial power.

3) Change Your Skills Focus

Do you know exactly which talents and skills are easy and natural for you to use, that give your work a sense of purpose?  Do you know what work would represent a perfect fit? Find a way (either in your existing job or in a new field or job) to tap your true and natural talents more frequently and deeply.  Take my free Career Path Assessment and figure out what you want to do more of, less of, and never again. 

4) Respect Yourself

If you’re chronically undervalued or mistreated at work and want people to change their treatment of you, start with SELF-respect.  How? Through courageous action that builds your own self-esteem – action that you know you should be taking, but haven’t found the nerve to take.  Don’t wait to become more authentic and real in your work. Speak up about who you are and what’s important to you.  Make yourself right, not wrong.  If you know something needs to be communicated, figure out a way to do it as soon as possible.  Find an advocate, sponsor or mentor at work to help you speak up in the right way so that you will be heard and respected for your viewpoint.  Start enforcing your boundaries so that you know exactly what you will tolerate and accept from others, and what you won’t. 

5) Honor What Gives Your Life Meaning

It’s a highly-destructive and misguided myth in our culture that we can’t make good money doing what we love.  We can, but it takes grit, determination, and courage and flexibility to pursue a path that you love and to make it work for you financially. 

Determine what endeavors and activities bring you joy and meaning, and bring these forward.  The key is to 1) understand the essence of what you want, and then 2) find the right form of it.  To find out if the new path you’re fantasizing about is right for you, research, research, research– interview people in the field, read all about it, get training and education, find a mentor, and determine a way to “try it on’ before you leap.  You might discover that earning money following your passion isn’t — in the end — the right thing for you, but you love to do it on a part-time or hobby basis.  If that’s the case, step up and volunteer or join a community that lets you honor your heart-aligned passions.  

6) If It’s Too Much Struggle, Change

Whether you’re in your own business and it’s simply not working, or the job you’re in feels crushingly difficult, it’s time to make change.  Let’s face it, most of us wait until there’s a full-blown crisis (read about the 12 “hidden” crises working women face) before we do something different.  I’ve personally lived through all 12 of the crises  I write about, so I understand.  But I’m asking you NOT to make the same mistakes I did.  Get outside your own head, and get help to figure out what you really want, and how to get it.

So, what’s your top reason for wanting out of your line of work?  And are you ready to do something about it?

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Careers, Challenges, Empowerment, Kathy Caprino, Tips for Empowerment, Uncategorized, success | 2 Comments »

Why We Find “Make Money Quick!” Promises Such a Turn-off

Sunday, January 30th, 2011

In speaking to many of my coaching and consulting friends in the past few months, I’ve noticed that the folks I’m most connected with — those with whom I share the most emotional, spiritual and behavioral common ground – are all feeling the same way about the trend we’ve seen during the recession of marketers offering promises like these:

-          Double your income in weeks!
-          Recession-proof your practice!
-          Earn six figures now!
-          Kiss your money worries goodbye!
-          Make money while you sleep!

And so on…

Why do some of these marketing programs make us sit up and pay attention, and others make us press “delete” before we read the tenth word?

As a women’s researcher and a marketing consultant, I myself am offering an ongoing marketing success program for women coaches, consultants and practitioners called Prosperity Marketing Mindset.  I believe that this program helps you name and claim greater success and fulfillment on terms that meaningful to you.  But I make no promises of doubling your money, making money while you sleep, recession-proofing your practice, or finding a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.  I’m careful about what I indicate are the potential outcomes of this program.  I feel that I can authentically and with integrity back up what I’m saying are the probable outcomes, with proven results.

Of course, most of us want to make more money, but the key outcome we want in making more money is doing what we love and doing it with more ease.  Many of us come from a place of wanting to give what we love to give, and we’re NOT drawn to making more money through constructing empty, inauthentic passive revenue projects, affiliation schemes, programs and partnerships that don’t, in the end, bring us closer to what we love to do.

In the wonderful book The Energy of Money (highly recommended), author Maria Nemeth shares this:

“We are all happiest when we are demonstrating in the physical reality what we know to be true about ourselves, when we are giving form to our Life’s Intentions in a way that contributes to others.

I think that this statement sums it up so beautifully and powerfully.  The folks I resonate with want to:

  • Create in life and work that which reflects what they know to be true about themselves
  • Honor their Life Intentions (truest visions and goals) in ways that serve others
  • Make great money doing what they love
  • Expand themselves in the process of being of service

If we can stretch ourselves to do the above better, more effectively and with greater ease, now we’re talking!

So what makes some money messages highly distasteful and a complete turn-off, and others more authentic, believable and compelling? 

Here are five ingredients I’ve found in inauthentic money promises that make us want to run:

1)  They talk about shifting yourself to double your income as if it can happen tomorrow – and in most people’s experience, it’s a process that takes a good deal of time

2)   They promise that because others have done it you can do it too in the same way – and that’s just not always the case.  Financial success is a unique and specialized journey based on the individual’s needs, desires, beliefs, and visions.

3)  They focus on money to the exclusion of other factors that go into creating success, fulfillment, reward, and results

4)  They hold up money as the ultimate outcome we desire – whereas being of service that reflects our Life Intentions is the true outcome we want

5) They ring of self-service – not of uplifting messages that will help US

Coaches, consultants, practitioners, and others who come from the heart want to be of service in the largest way possible, while earning a living that reflects what we know to be true about ourselves.  It’s simple but not easy, and we know it.  There are challenging steps involved in clearing and stretching us to be able to give of ourselves in a healthy and generous way, and strike a beautiful balance with the energy of money.

In the end, it’s vitally important to embrace messages that feel authentic and compelling to you.  Please don’t worry that’s something wrong with you (or that you’re not doing what you should) if you feel out of synch with these make-money-quick messages and schemes.  Make yourself RIGHT, and not wrong!

I’d love to hear from you – Do many of these “double your money!” messages turn you off?  Why, exactly?  And what money messages are attractive and exciting to you?  Please SHARE!

Tags: , , , , , , ,
Posted in Advice, Breakthroughs, Empowerment, Kathy Caprino, Marketing Support, success | 1 Comment »

A New Kind of Year

Tuesday, January 4th, 2011
Hello and Happy New Year!  I hope your holidays were lovely, and you feel refreshed and excited about the New Year.

What a challenging year 2010 was for so many, including me.  In thinking about what I would like to bring about in 2011 in my life and work, I’ve decided to take a very different approach to my planning and envisioning process. 

I’ve suffered a good deal of heartache and disappointment over the past years because I overly-attached to what I thought I wanted to achieve and create.  When these events or experiences didn’t come to pass, I was let down, only to learn later (days, months, and even years afterward), that what I hankered for so keenly wasn’t even what I truly wanted in my heart and soul. 

 Over-Attachment Causes Suffering 

I’ve observed that we humans attach ourselves with full force to a specific outer “form” of something we think we want (this new job, house, business, etc.), because we believe this “thing” or experience will bring us happiness. 

 What I’ve learned is that experiencing joy, fulfillment and “success” is much less about outer experiences and things, and much more about the process of living – namely, letting go of what we think we should be doing and being, and instead, embracing with gratitude and gusto the person we are and what we have already created, and moving forward from a perspective of acceptance rather than resistance.  After all, what we resist, persists.

 A New Process

So this year things will be different for me.  Sure, I’m excited to set out key goals for my life, work, and business.  But at the same time, I’m ready to let the year unfold as it will, embracing what comes, learning and growing from it, and knowing that much of what life brings is out of my control.  I know now that if I can be fully present for the ride rather than resisting it, life is more joyful, peaceful and fulfilling. Make sense?

I encourage you to set out for yourself the heartfelt goals you’d like to achieve, but also forge a new process of living whereby you are able to deeply and wholeheartedly feel, embrace, and cherish who you are and what you have in your life, each and every day.

Sound good? Let’s do it together.  Let’s plan, envision, and embrace.  Here’s to a new kind of life experience in 2011.

What can you accept and embrace today that you’ve been resisting?

Tags: , , , , , ,
Posted in Breakthroughs, Challenges, Empowerment, Inspiration for Change, Kathy Caprino, Yes I Can Thinking | No Comments »

The Top 10 Things Coaching Marketers and Training Schools Won’t Tell You

Tuesday, December 14th, 2010

This week, I had a fabulous conversation with Starla Sireno – Founder of www.Fearlessnessinc.com and the Fearless Women Entrepreneur Network – an empowering forum for women entrepreneurs in San Francisco and beyond, providing the knowledge and support women need to become fearless entrepreneurs. 

Starla and I both found so much validation and confirmation in sharing our honest and frank views about the coaching business, entrepreneurship, women’s challenges in launching their ventures to great success, and the onslaught of false information that is damaging to thousands of women today.

I realized in speaking with Starla that I’ve officially had it with the thousands of false and empty promises I keep hearing from hundreds of coaching marketers and product developers for coaches, and organizations that train beginning coaches.  Their talk is SO full of misleading guidance, that it’s time to speak out. 

I’m sharing below what I know to be true about the coaching business, based on not only my personal experience, but also my honest and authentic conversations and connections with hundreds of coaches nationwide and in other countries.

*Note: The following information excludes reference to executive and business coaches who are paid by an organization, not by individuals.  There are exceptions to the statements that follow, but not many, and only under special conditions:

What I know to be true about coaching: 

1) “Coaching” per se doesn’t sell.  People still don’t know what coaching is or what it delivers.  To get new clients and continually fill a pipeline to make a good living, you must promote and market the substantial benefits and outcomes you deliver, not sell “coaching”

2) Your delivered outcomes must be highly compelling.  The benefits and outcomes you deliver through coaching must be compelling and highly valuable in the eyes of your clients, not yours.  For people to part with their money today, you must address a pain point that has to be resolved, or a benefit that is deeply coveted, in the client’s opinion.

3) Don’t count on workshops for your living. You won’t make any money running workshops, selling passive income products, or engaging in affiliate relationships if you don’t have a large enough community (in the multiple thousands) to sell to.

4) The strength of your brand matters. With the massive influx of data and information today, you need a compelling brand and powerful unique positioning, website and other marketing materials that work, to stand out and help you attract new clients and customers — unless you only want to work only through word-of-mouth.

5) You need a large platform or community in order to sell books. Creating books and e-books in general won’t make you money either – again unless you have thousands of potential customers within your reach.  Books (and only well-developed ones that offer something of value) will, however, generate other benefits for you (credibility, recognition, exposure, a new affordable way to reach people, etc.).

6) Hundreds of coaches nationwide are not making it.  The median annual salary for a life coach is $30,000 – and many more coaches make much less than that.  If you want a bigger income, you must embrace a different business model that includes not just one-on-one coaching but also other high-quality and useful services, products and programs.

7) Publishers will be interested in your book only when you command significant attention. Publishers won’t consider publishing your book unless you have a sizable platform and community (in the many multiple thousands) and can command attention, through traditional or social media, or through others means.

 8) Publicity doesn’t have the financial impact you think it does.  National publicity is awesome to get, but it doesn’t necessarily move any important needle in your business financials – including in your revenue, clients, customers or speaking fees.  Don’t chase publicity for publicity’s sake.

9) Paid speaking gigs don’t come easy. If you want to be a paid speaker, it takes a great deal of training, powerfully-crafted programs, credibility, in-depth experience, and hard-earned knowledge about how to engage, inform, and enliven an audience.  All of that takes years.  Don’t expect high fees (or fees at all) as a beginning speaker.

10) Coaching is NOT a quick and lucrative way out to your corporate job. 
DON’T engage in a coaching practice if you think it’s an easy, profitable way to run from your corporate life.  And please don’t launch a coaching or consulting practice (or other business) if you aren’t ready to focus on and continually attend to the business-building and marketing actions essential to creating a thriving business.  If it’s contrary to your personality to go out and pursue business opportunities daily and promote your business with gusto and energy – then definitely think again.

*  *  *  *

Coaching can be a very rewarding and exciting profession, but it takes time, energy, business and marketing know-how, sound investment, and an ongoing commitment to making it work.  False promises about how easy it is to earn six figures, create compelling information products that sell, or attract clients who’ll flock to your door, are misleading at best, destructive at worst. 

Some helpful TO-DO tips:

1) If you’re building a coaching practice, seek out reliable and highly respected coaching marketers and business-builders who understand the realities of the business and will share with you the core strategies they’ve used to overcome the inherent challenges. 

2) Please be judicious in what you invest in outside help to develop your business. Don’t spend thousands of dollars on outside marketing help if there’s no way you can recoup that money within the year. 

3) Find helpers who are strong role models whom you respect, and whose products and programs are of high quality.

4) Believe only the advice of people who want you to succeed as much as — if not more than – they want to fill their own pipelines.

Stay tuned in the coming weeks for real-life stories of successful coaches who have navigated powerfully through each of the above realities.

I’d love to hear from you.  What else do coaching marketers and schools NOT tell you? Leave a comment!

Tags: , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Advice, Breakthroughs, Careers, Challenges, Kathy Caprino, Living Real, Marketing Support, Powerful Self-Marketing, Uncategorized | 1 Comment »

My 52 Mistakes Project – Mistake #52 – The Biggest

Monday, November 15th, 2010

Hi Friends – happy to share the second installment of my project “My 52 Mistakes” – a social media and research project aimed at providing an open, authentic forum for women to explore, understand and grow from their biggest mistakes in life and work, and to help other women by sharing the amazing lessons we’ve learned from our missteps.

Today, I’m talking about my Mistake #52 – the biggest, most impactful error I made (so far!).  This mistake involved my remaining deeply stuck in struggle, sickness, and sadness for years in my worklife, not grasping until I was in my forties that I am special, unique, and powerful, and can make the difference I truly want to, in my life and in the world.

Hope you enjoy it!  PLEASE share this link with every woman you know, and please comment – let me know what you think of this mistake, if it resonates, your biggest mistake, what you learned, and where you are today.

Thank you so much for your honest and courageous sharing.  It means the world.

Wishing you many happy breakthroughs.

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Advice, Breakthroughs, Challenges, Empowerment, Following Your Dreams, Inspiration for Change, Kathy Caprino, My 52 Mistakes, Women in Business | No Comments »

5 Top Mistakes to Avoid in Your Career Reinvention

Friday, October 22nd, 2010

After spending nine years reinventing myself from a miserable and chronically ill corporate VP to women’s career and executive coach, marketing consultant, author, speaker and women’s work-life expert, I’ve made a good number of huge mistakes and missteps that have tripped me up, and at times, caused me to hang my head in my hands in despair.  I consciously avoid spending time in regret, but these mistakes were gruelling.  Yet I do believe that each and every one of these lessons has made me stronger, more expansive, more connected to who I really am, and ultimately more confident in my abilities to direct my life with satisfaction and joy. 

To help others learn from my mistakes, I’ve launched a new social media series called My 52 Mistakes, to share my top mistakes in life and work, and help others bypass the major pitfalls I encountered.  Here’s my list of my top 52.  Check it out and share your lessons!!

Here are the top five mistakes to avoid when in career transition and embarking on professional reinvention.  I’ve lived through these mistakes myself, and am stronger for it…but you don’t have to!

Mistake #1:

Don’t have a “build it and they will come” mentality without utilizing powerful financial, professional, and business-building tactics and strategies

Don’t make the mistake of confusing wishful thinking with powerful strategies for moving forward.  Certainly, faith and optimism are essential, but so are sound business and professional goals, plans and tactics, developed with deep know-how and expertise (your own or a great consulting partner), fueled by conscious intention and fierce commitment.  There are 5 “M’s” required for entrepreneurial success – ignore these at your peril.

 Mistake #2:

Don’t underestimate how long it will take you to build a successful new career

Leave your ego at the door when you’re evaluating how long reinvention will take.  Get advice from true experts in the field on the amount of time it will take to launch your new career, and make it successful and earn you a good living (that’s what you want, after all, isn’t it?).  It’s been said that becoming an expert in a field takes 10 years (I believe that’s true), and creating a self-sustaining small business or consulting practice often takes at least five years.

Mistake #3:

Don’t neglect having a Plan B, and moving to it when it’s time

In my book Breakdown, Breakthrough, I talk about what it takes to reinvent yourself.  Often it requires that you simply refuse to let in (mentally, emotionally, or spiritually) the possibility that you will fail (see Chapter 11 about the amazing comedian Monique Marvez’s journey to hell and back).  If you want something badly enough, most likely you’ll find a way to get it.  However, if you have a family to support, and other critical financial and other obligations that you feel you must fulfill in life, then you need a Plan B that will get you through the tough financial times.  Use Plan B to help you stay afloat while all along moving forward to your career dreams.

Mistake #4

Don’t wait too long to correct your course when you misstep or discover steps on your new path that are wrong for you

Set milestones (“I will achieve this by this date,” etc.), and review your progess frequently – quarterly at the least.   If you’re way off course, you need to course-correct.  Also, if where you’re going ends up feeling wrong, don’t keep going in the same direction.  Don’t make yourself “wrong” for how you feel.   Realize a change is necessary, and power up to make that change, and don’t wait until disaster strikes to make the correction.

Mistake #5

Don’t forget: A fantastic life takes fantastic risks

There’s an enormous difference between a “job” and a “calling.”  Neither is better or worse – it simply depends on what you want for your life, based on your values and priorities.  If it’s a calling you’ve be given to follow (a calling is not a voluntary pursuit, I’ve found), know now that it will require everything you’ve got to give, and then some.  Please don’t expect a fantastic life without understanding that you must risk a great deal to live your life on the cutting edge of experience.

 Other lessons I’ve learned through my nine-year reinvention:

1.There will be times (many, in fact) that you have no idea what to do, and despite all your efforts, you fail at the task at hand
2. If you don’t remain “teachable” at all times, you’ll suffer
3. If you think you’re immune (to anything – the economy, challenges in the workplace, problems in building your business to a satisfactory level), you’re wrong
4. When you lose your compassion for others who are challenged in their reinvention or in their efforts to launch themselves successfully, you’ll suddenly experience something that brings you back to humility
5. You’ll need faith, patience, and perseverance in greater supply than you ever thought possible
6. It’s not all up to you – things happen outside your sphere of influence that can shift your course
7. Reaching out for help is essential when you’re not where you want to be
8. Being part of a like-minded community that offers support, guidance, and encouragement is a blessing and a good business strategy
9. Career reinventing is a life-long process (not a one-time deal), and once you embark on it, it changes you forever.  It’s a process that leads you to feel so appreciative of all that you are – flaws, gifts, strengths, blindspots and all – and so excited for each new day that brings you closer to yourself.
10. Reinvention is not for the faint of heart, but oh my…if you’re up for it, what gifts it brings.

What are the biggest mistakes you’ve made in reinventing your career?  I’d love to hear.  Share your insights with us! We all learn from each other.

Wishing you a joyful career reinvention!  And let me know if you’d like some help – I’ve been there.

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Advice, Careers, Challenges, Empowerment, Following Your Dreams, Inspiring Thoughts, Kathy Caprino, Living Real, Support for Change, success | No Comments »

« Older Entries