Posts Tagged ‘Empowerment’

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5 Key Steps To Birthing Your BIG Dream Successfully and Efficiently

Wednesday, May 1st, 2013

As I move forward in my rebranding process and begin to articulate more clearly what I do in my coaching and consulting, I’ve realized that a majority of my work is focused on helping women understand with complete clarity what their BIG dream is, distill it down to the right essence, then birth it successfully and efficiently in a way that aligns with their passions, values, needs and wants.

The dreams I’ve helped women bring into being in the past 10 years come in all flavors, shapes and sizes, including:

  • Moving from a crushing HR corporate role to building a thriving new landscape design business
  • Stepping up with more leadership power, authority and self-confidence to run a global division of her company
  • Separating from an addictive, abusive relationship to a supporting, loving environment and a meaningful job
  • Making three times more money doing the coaching work she absolutely adores (monetizing and leveraging her important messages and content)
  • Relocating to another country with her family to experience a great, new adventure
  • Reclaiming her passion for dancing and movement, and exploring starting a yoga studio
  • Honoring her longings to become a professional writer, and beginning blogging and writing
  • Emerging from a crippling divorce and no recent work experience to running a thriving private practice
  • Leaving a Fortune 100 senior level role to participate in a small startup making a huge difference
  • Radically improving her family’s life by picking up and moving across the country to pursue a healthier, more down-to-earth lifestyle

So, how do we birth big dreams successfully?

The reality is that most of us aren’t ready for our dreams to come true today – we need to expand, power up and grow stronger in order  to hold and emanate the vast amount of energy required to live our dreams.  To live the lives we dream of, most of us need stronger boundaries, more direct communication, increased self-confidence through aligned action, a deeper understanding of who we want to serve (and who we need to walk away from), and a staunch commitment to building supportive relationships that will nurture and accelerate our growth.

I’ve learned a great deal about dreaming big and bringing these visions successfully into the three dimensional world through my own dreaming/reinvention journey (and some huge missteps) and from helping hundreds of others.  From these experiences, I’ve found there are 5 key steps to birthing big dreams successfully:

1. Understand who you really are, uniquely

You can’t dream BIG and live out your dreams if you don’t understand your own value, importance, and talents.  Most women I work with grossly underestimate what they have to offer the world. And most folks think their dream is thousands of light years away and utterly outlandish, when in actuality it’s only a number of critical steps away.  

You need to step back a bit and unplug from the negative chatter and crushing bustle of your life to gain an empowered perspective of who you really are, and to make fuller use of the talents and strengths you possess.  Whatever you think you have to offer, I’m relatively sure that it’s one thousand times bigger and more important to the world than you think it is.  (Take my FREE Career Path Self-Assessment to get your juices flowing about what you have to offer the world, and how to move forward with that new knowledge.)

2. Close your “power gaps” (and we all have some) to overcome the obstacles in the way of your success

When I say “power gaps,” I’m referring to the areas in your life where you feel “less then,” unworthy, vulnerable, insecure, shameful, or inferior.  We all have these gaps.  Some feel insecure about how they parent.  Others lack confidence in their communication ability or their leadership strength.  For others still, there’s a feeling they’re just not smart or clever enough to do what they long to, and they fear they’ll fail at anything they try. For yet others, their shyness keeps them hiding their light under a bushel.

These are all power gaps – areas that are calling out for an intervention and infusion of strength and courage.  To close your power gaps, first identify the ONE area today that makes you feel most insecure and weak, and do something about it to build your strength.  (Check out my Amazing Career Project video training course to help you with this strengthening process).

3. Identify the “essence” of what you want, then find the right “form” that will perfectly match your needs, values, and goals.  

So many women today are desperately unhappy in their current situations, and fantasize intensively about one new direction thinking it will be the panacea, but haven’t explored this direction enough to know if it’s really right for them.  We’ve all fallen victim to the “grass is always greener on the other side” myth, but until we step over the fence to “try on” the new direction, we just can’t know.  Before you leap, research, research, research what this new direction means and entails, and what it will give you (and the sacrifices it will demand of you) to pursue it.  Avoid the dreaded “Pendulum Effect” – running to the opposite ends of the earth from what you have today because you’ve waited too long to address the pain of your current situation.  The key is to find the right “form” of the dream so that when you achieve it, it fits just right.

4. Connect your dots

As the inspiring Steve Jobs explores in his compelling Stanford commencement speech years ago, if you follow what excites and enlivens you, and continue to do this throughout your life and career, the dots will eventually connect.  You’ll find yourself in a situation where you’re using everything exciting and important you’ve ever learned, and you’ll apply it in ways that matter to you, in service to others and the world.  But this is true only if you continually ask yourself, “What do I long to be doing?” and listen to the answers.  If you honor in some meaningful way your longings of how you wish to be of service in the world, the dots will indeed connect.  The happiest, most successful people today have found a way to honor all key dimensions of themselves — their personality, values, needs, standards of integrity, vision, and talents – and nothing is wasted. 

5. Build a support structure to help you expand enough to be ready to live this dream

Finally, big dreams don’t thrive in a vacuum, without being supported, fanned, and bolstered.  And you can’t fertilize your dreams sufficiently all by yourself.  You need loving ambassadors, mentors, sponsors, and supporters who believe in you, and who see the future vision of you before it’s hatched.  These supporters know how to keep you true to your dream even when you’re so afraid that all you want to do is run.

To launch your big dream into the world as a healthy baby ready to thrive, you need a “village” to support you, and it.

So what is your BIG dream? What do you long for, but feel ashamed or foolish to say out loud?

That’s the dream I hope you go for in some key way today.  Despite what the negative naysayers advise, those who know how to dream big and bring those dreams into existence are those who make their marks on the world and change it for the better.

(For some empowering help to bring your BIG dream into being, don’t hesitate to reach out for support and take advantage of my FREE monthly coaching calls!)

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Posted in Amazing Career Success, Breakthroughs, Entrepreneurship, Inspiration for Change, Kathy Caprino | 10 Comments »

6 Core Steps to Figuring Out What You Want To Be

Saturday, January 5th, 2013

Image Courtesy of Pakorn on FreeDigitalPhotos.net

In response to my Forbes, Huffington Post and AARP Work Reimagined posts, I hear one type of comment over and over again, more than any other, and it goes something like this: “I just don’t know what I want.  Despite all my efforts, I can’t figure it out what I want to do.”

I find this an amazing phenomenon – that so many Americans have lost touch with who and what they want to be professionally.

Don’t get me wrong – I’m not judging anyone here, because this was me 12 years ago.  I built an 18-year corporate career in publishing, marketing and membership services, and for most of it, I was outwardly successful.  But throughout it all, I was inwardly very unhappy and kept asking “Is this all there is?   I loved my family life, but my career was deeply unsatisfying.  Despite my efforts to get help to figure out what else I should professionally (I saw a therapist and career counselor, took costly quantitative assessment tests [which I’m not a fan of, by the way], etc.), I couldn’t figure out what else to do.  I finally did figure it out and forged a very fulfilling path, but it took years and some very costly missteps.

After 10 years of serving as career coach and trainer to help professionals build more satisfying careers, I’ve uncovered why people are so resistant to career change.  And I’ve created a successful model with a step-by-step program to help professionals  build a career that delivers both the “essence” of what makes them happy, along with the right “form” of it to suit their financial needs, values, life intentions, standards of integrity and more.

So how do we do it?  What are the six keys to figuring out what you really want?

1)  Pull yourself out of the tiny box you’re trapped in

All people who are stuck feel this way because they’ve made some costly or rigid assumptions about what they need to be happy or what they’re capable of creating. These assumptions (often unconscious) keep them trapped in a tight little box with a lid that won’t budge.

Some of these limiting assumptions are:

-  I need to earn $XXXXXX to live the life I want

-  My marriage or family won’t survive my making this change

-  I’ll be too old by the time I make this change

-  I don’t have what it takes to reinvent myself or even repurpose what I do

-  I’m a loser and a failure – I can’t compete

-  I’m too unskilled or out of touch with current trends

-  I have nothing important to offer

-  I’m not special

-  I’m too beat up and burnt out

-  Nothing else will be better

How can you get out of the box? 

Certainly not by yourself.  You simply can’t identify your special talents, capabilities and potential alone and in a vacuum.  And you can’t solve your problems on the level of awareness that they were created.  You’ve got to involve someone else in the discussion about your life, and make it someone you respect, who’s knowledgeable, successful and fulfilled in what they do, and who doesn’t have an agenda about where you net out. Find someone today who can mentor, advise or coach you about what’s possible, and help you see what’s holding you back from identifying the power you have to make a difference, and the vast number of options that are truly available to you.

If you’re trying to do this all by yourself, you just won’t make headway.

2)  Don’t throw the baby out – look at what IS working along with what IS NOT

Many people wake up in midlife to the fact that their careers are dissatisfying and unsuccessful, and they’re so upset about it, they want to chuck the whole thing out.  Don’t make that mistake.  Conduct a thorough assessment of what you would like to preserve and maintain in your current career, and get rid of only the parts that make you feel angry, sad, frustrated, and thwarted. After all, you’ve been in this career for some time now – it’s not all bad.  You were attracted to it once, and you are utilizing some talents and skills that you want to continue to draw on.

As an example, I spent years as a copywriter and marketing professional in publishing. I didn’t enjoy writing copy for scientific books and journals, but I was good at it.  Now, I use all of those copywriting skills daily (and enjoy them), for my own business, and as a marketing consultant helping career women, entrepreneurs and small businesses promote their brands and services.

3)  Address your problems now, before making a change

I make this a mandate in all the career coaching work I do – that the client begin today to address and resolve what’s making them miserable in the current job or career before they leap.  Until you feel more empowered and  become more controlled, authoritative, and masterful in your current situation, you can’t expect to attract a better situation in the next chapter.  You’ve got to do the inner and outer work to earn a “fantastic” career – it’s not just going to fall in your lap.

I’ve found that once my clients do the work to address their problems in the current situation, their challenges tend to evaporate and often they don’t need to leap to something completely different.

(To learn more about how build your self-confidence, risk-tolerance, self-mastery and capabilities, visit The Amazing Career Project and download my free homework tool “Assessing and Closing Your Power Gaps”).

4)  Develop a supportive network and community that loves you

I don’t mean to sound like a broken record, but the reality is you cannot get where you want to in life and work if you don’t have help.  No matter where you are in your career, you need people to help you launch to the next level.  Start building a more powerful network of loyal colleagues who admire and appreciate you and would be more than happy to help you do what you want.  There are many ways to develop a community that will support you, including utilizing LinkedIn fully, offering endorsements and testimonials to people you respect, attending association and networking meetings of professionals in your field, reaching out to former colleagues who you admire, taking a class with other exciting, like-minded professionals, and the list goes on. (Here are a few helpful resources —  my free LinkedIn Primer  and Resume Guide — to get you started.)

5)   Build your personal brand and tell your story well

Before you can figure out what you really want and get it, you have to know who you are and tell a compelling story about yourself.  Of the thousands of professionals I meet and work with each year, only a tiny fraction can answer these questions in a compelling and engaging way:

What are you fabulous at and known for?

What do you offer and do that is significantly different from what the best in your field do?

What were you noticed for back when you were a teen and young adult?

What skills, talents, abilities make you stand out?

What life experiences have shaped you in special ways?

What are your Life Intentions?

What are your core values – the non-negotiables you need in life to be happy and fulfilled?

Whom do you love to serve and support, and why?

When you’re 90 years old looking back, what do you want to have given, contributed, stood for and achieved?

If you can’t answer these questions, you won’t figure out what you really want because you just don’t know yourself well enough and others won’t know how to help you.  To learn who you really are, take my free Career Path Self-Assessment.

6)  Now…connect the dots

After you’ve done all this work, it’s time to connect the dots (listen to the amazing Steve Jobs talk about how to live before you die and “connect  the dots”).  Figure out what paths will truly make sense for who you are and what you want to achieve in life.

Gain clarity about the best path for you by conducting online, offline, passive and active (in-person) research, to answer these critical questions:

What are my passions, and which of these make sense as a livelihood and which are better as hobbies?

Based on the passions, talents and skills I have, what are the careers best suited to me?

What are all the factors I need to address in planning my next direction (money, timing, energy, geography, family needs, support, enjoyment, health, etc.)

In this process, am I making any erroneous assumptions about myself and my life that I need to rethink?

Do I know what it takes to be successful in this new direction, and am I committed to it 100%?

Do I really want to start my own business, or am I just running away from something?

How will I fund my career change or transition?

Where will I find the ongoing support I need?

Don’t make the same huge blunders that so many career changers make.  Do the inner and outer work required to 1) discover who you are and what really matters to you, 2) overcome the obstacles in the way of your success, and 3) identify and “try on” the paths that make the most sense for you and your life.

And get the help you need to reach your highest potential.

It’s takes a great deal of effort to LOVE who you are, and to relish your life and career.  But what an incredibly enjoyable and rewarding path when you do.

 

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Posted in Amazing Career Success, Breakthroughs, Careers, Empowerment | 1 Comment »

Entrepreneurial Women Rocking the World

Saturday, May 19th, 2012

Celebrity Hairstylist and Entrepreneur Sally Hershberger

In my numerous roles as career and executive coach, writer, speaker and professional trainer dedicated to women’s advancement in business, I have the good fortune of crossing paths with many entrepreneurial women who doing truly great things in the world.  From building multimillion dollar enterprises, to creating groundbreaking new products and services, to sharing vitally important messages that transform the world, these women are making their marks in a very big way, and have powerful lessons to teach all of us who wish to do the same.

To support these women and to help other women come forward with their talents and gifts, I’m excited to announce the launch of my new series on my “Career Bliss” Forbes blog called “Entrepreneurial Women Rocking the World.” This series will highlight the stories and insights of famous and soon-to-be-famous women who are changing how things are done in the business world, shaping their own futures as they truly want them, and paving the way for all women who wish to create abundant success — financially, spiritually, personally and professionally.

My first post in the series highlights the accomplishments and lessons of celebrity hairstylist and successful entrepreneur Sally Hershberger.  Here’s her story and her Top Seven Success Tips:

Top 7 Success Tips from Celebrity Hairstylist and Entrepreneur Sally Hershberger

Having met Sally in March and watching her in action, I immediately saw in her an energy that I admired and appreciated – she’s confident, authoritative, and commanding, but in a way that attracts you to her, not repels you.  I hope you enjoy the piece, and are inspired by her journey and insights.

Please follow my Career Bliss blog and stay tuned for more features and stories about exciting entrepreneurial women including:

Tory Johnson
Mary Lou Quinlan
Sara Blakely

and many more!

And if you have suggestions for top entrepreneurial women you’d like to see highlighted and who are rocking your world, feel free to reach out and offer your recommendations.   I’d love to hear from you.

Here’s to making our marks in the world, without reservation, fear or doubt.  The time is now!

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Posted in Breakthroughs, Careers, Empowerment, Entrepreneurship, Following Your Dreams, Kathy Caprino, success | No Comments »

Why There Are So Few Women on Fortune’s “40 Under 40” List

Saturday, October 22nd, 2011

Fortune Magazine just released its “40 Under 40” list – a collection of the brightest and best innovators, leaders, “disrupters,” and job creators in the world under 40.   These folks are truly changing life and work as we know it.

But there’s a deeply disturbing problem with this list – where are the women?  The first woman listed is #20 – Marissa Mayer – VP of Google — and there are only 5 more.  Also extremely curious is that Fortune chose to feature on the cover two women (out of three individuals), when their list was only 15% female.  What were their reasons? 

You can’t imagine what it’s like to be a career and executive coach and trainer for professional women, and see a list like this.  It fires me up – makes me furious, motivated, frustrated, re-committed – a full gamut of emotions.  All of us who care about the advancement of women want to do more, impact more, change more, so that women — who are 47% of the U.S. labor force today yet only 15% of corporate leadership — aren’t grossly underrepresented in a list of top young movers and shakers in the world of business.

How can more women advance to the top of their fields?

Those who work intensively with professional women know there are key reasons why women are not making in large numbers to the top of their fields today.  Gender roles at home and the highly disproportionate distribution of labor around childcare and domestic responsibility is one.  And we also know there are critically important shifts that have to occur in women’s behavior, thinking, and actions to catapult them to the top.

These changes will not happen overnight, or even in our lifetimes.  But we can’t let up – we have to create new pathways for women to rise to senior leadership in every field and every industry.  Most people on the planet understand why it’s vitally important to have more women in leadership.  But very few know how to make it happen.   

8 Essential Steps for Women to Rise to the Top of Their Fields

Click below to read my latest piece on Forbes.com about the 8 essential steps for women to rise to the top:

WHERE ARE THE WOMEN ON FORTUNE’S “40 UNDER 40” LIST

Please let me know your thoughts – share your candid opinions.

Arriving at the top doesn’t just happen.  Women have to commit themselves to being the best and stretching beyond all imagining.  And we need empowering programs and initiatives that help train women how to overcome their challenges to rising to the top.

Are you ready to do what it takes?

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Posted in Careers, Empowerment, Kathy Caprino, Leadership, success, Women in Business, Women in Leadership | 1 Comment »

The Top Six Reasons People Want to Leave Their Careers

Monday, July 11th, 2011

(Thrilled that this piece was published on Forbes.com last week!)

As a career and executive coach, I’ve spoken with hundreds of professionals who’ve shared some version of, “I really want to leave my job and change my career, but I’m not sure what to do or where to go from here.”

If I’ve heard this message once, I’ve heard it 1000 times now.  People spend years crafting careers that appear successful on the outside, only to find that at some point, usually in midlife, the career comes up short. It’s missing a vital component (or several) that turns the work into something dreaded – less than fulfilling, lacking in purpose, unstable, inauthentic, unsustainable, or a combination of all of the above.

I’ve personally lived this experienced as well – waking up at age 40 to depression, exhaustion, chronic illness, lack of ability to balance my family life and work, and feeling completely disengaged from the corporate professional identity I’d spent 18 years forging (see Breakdown Breakthrough for more).

Why are so many folks miserable in their work and long for change?

Here’s what I’ve found to be the top six reasons people are dissatisfied with their work and want out:

1. Balance: They find it impossible to balance work and outside/family life
2. Money: The money they earn isn’t enough to sustain them or their families
3. Skills: The skills and talents required for their work aren’t are a good fit
4. Respect: They feel chronically undervalued or mistreated
5. Meaning: They experience little positive meaning or purpose in their work
6. Struggle: It’s simply too hard to keep going with it

In short, they’re saying: “I don’t know what I want, but I know it’s not this.”

As the economy rallies, more and more employees are asking themselves, “Can I leave my job yet?”  But I’ve discovered that if the above challenges aren’t effectively addressed in some core way BEFORE you leave your current job or career, they’ll follow you wherever you go. 

If the above describes your experience, read on for some tips to help you create the change you want — away from feeling trapped, toward feeling more confident, courageous and committed to making positive career change today.

1) Commit Yourself to What You Want

A fulfilling, satisfying life is not going to just fall in your lap.  You have to claim it, and commit to getting it with concentrated, continual effort.  You have to work it. 

How?  First, figure out what is the most important thing in the whole world to you.  What matters more than anything else?  (For more on this, see Ric Elias’ moving TED Talk on 3 Lessons I Learned As My Plane Crashed). 

Formulate this priority in terms of a “to be” statement such as “to be a great parent” or “to be a successful entrepreneur” or “to be a helper of others.”   Then commit yourself to honoring this priority.  Stop over-functioning (doing more than is necessary, more than is healthy, and more than is appropriate) in your life, your family, and work, and let go being perfect in the areas that don’t matter to you.

2) Refine Your Focus

Do you know exactly which talents and skills are easy and natural for you to use, that give your work a sense of purpose?  Do you know what type of work would represent an ideal fit? Are you in touch with your core values, standards of integrity and life goals? 

We have to understand our unique answers to these questions before we even contemplate making a major career change.  Why? Because if you don’t understand who you are and what you want uniquely, you’ll end up making career change based on the wrong reasons and incomplete information, and the new career will disappoint you once again.

Take my Career Path Assessment (CLICK HERE to access the free Assessment survey) and figure out what you want to do more of, less of, and never again. Then find a way (either in your existing job or in a new field or job) to tap your true and natural talents more frequently and deeply.

3) Access the Courage to Make Change

During the eight years I’ve been a career coach, I’ve literally met thousands of miserable, depressed professionals who share their story of misery, but then do nothing concrete about it.  I’ve analyzed why this is so – why so many people remain paralyzed in their misery – and I have some hypotheses as to what holds us back from life change (stay tuned for an upcoming blog post on that). 

But what I do know is that if you don’t take concrete action that is different in content and process from what you’ve done before, your life and career will not change.

In the end, you can’t solve a problem on the level it was created.

Whether you’re in your own business and it’s simply not working, or the job you’re in brings too much struggle every day, it’s time for change.  Let’s face it, most of us wait until there’s a full-blown crisis (read about the 12 “hidden” crises working women face) before we do something different.  I’ve personally lived through all 12 of the major crises professional women face, so I get it.  But I’m asking you NOT to make the same mistakes I did.  Get outside your own head, and get outside help to figure out what you really want, and how to get it.

So, what’s your top reason for wanting out of your line of work?  And are you ready to do something about it?

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Posted in Breakthroughs, Careers, Challenges, Empowerment, Inspiration for Change, Kathy Caprino | 3 Comments »

Mandating Women at the Leadership Table: Why the Time is Now

Friday, March 25th, 2011

I’m thrilled that Forbes.com in partnership with 85 Broads published my piece today on “Mandating Women at the Leadership Table: Why the Time is Now.”

This issue is vitally important to American businesses and to both men and women.  I’d be so grateful for your comments on the Forbes.com piece. PLEASE! Add your voice to the conversation.  Let’s be heard!

Thanks so much for your contributions.

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Posted in Careers, Empowerment, Inspiration for Change, Leadership, success, Women in Business | 1 Comment »

The Seven Key Traits of a Great Leader

Monday, March 21st, 2011

In the past several months, I’ve immersed myself in the process of understanding more about what makes a truly great leader in the corporate world.  I’ve also explored the current research and thinking about women’s leadership styles and approaches versus men’s, and I’ve compared what others are saying to my own experiences and research with women in corporate leadership positions.   I’m also focusing my own work now on helping women grow their leadership capabilities and reach their highest potential as leaders.

It’s been a fascinating journey of learning which has led me to reframe some of my views about what it takes to be a positive leader who, through her own vision, efforts, and energy, can bring about deeply instrumental change in our world and our workforce.

From where I sit today, great leadership is comprised of these seven behavioral traits:

The leader…

1)      Embodies the way – She thinks, acts and behaves in ways that are congruent to what she holds to be true and valuable, in her company and in her world. She is a role model in every way for what she stands for and what she espouses.

2)      Inspires a shared vision – She envisions what is possible for the future, and infuses tremendous positive spirit and energy into that vision, allowing everyone who interacts with her a window into what is possible through collaboration, cooperation and contribution.

3)      Challenges content and process – She understands that adhering to the status quo and accepting things as they are is not the pathway to change and growth.  She uncovers new (yet unthreatening) ways of thinking, being, and doing – and encourages others to do the same — in both “content” and “process. ”  These new ways allow for greater expansion and success.

4)      Empowers others – She invests time, energy and commitment in empowering and engaging others, building their self-reliance, independence and growth as individuals and as collaborators.

5)      Integrates the whole – She understands that when people bring their whole selves to a task, and when unity can be achieved rather than compartmentalization, the outcome is much greater than the sum of the parts.  She is an integrated individual herself, and fosters integration and wholeness in others and throughout the organization.

6)      Supports inclusion over hierarchy – She operates under the belief that inclusion is preferred over exclusion, and centrality is preferred over hierarchy.  She doesn’t long to sit alone at the top.  Instead, she wants to be in the center (in other words, at the heart) of a large and effective web of inclusion that does what it sets out to do, with ease, clarity, grace, and focus (for more on the web of inclusion, see Sally Helgesen’s The Web of Inclusion and The Female Advantage)

7)      Fosters the heart and spirit – Finally, she creates a supportive, healthy environment that allows all those involved to behave, think, and perform from a heart-based place, where they can feel and experience themselves as personally and professionally aligned.  She shapes an organization in which there is a solid common ground between what the individual wants and what the company wants from the individual.  Employees are able to engage their hearts and spirits in their work, rather than being diminished, penalized or alienated for being true to who they really are. 

(For more in-depth coverage on several of these ideas, check out The Leadership Challenge, by Kouzes and Posner.  The ideas above represent my female perspective on some of its teachings).

*  *  *  *  *

In the end, the great visionary leader knows that the best and most effective organizations foster individuals’ natural talents, growth, strength, and self-reliance.  They nurture employees’ ability to connect to who they truly are.  Further, great leaders allow individuals to demonstrate at work what they know to be true of themselves, as well as give form to their life intentions in ways that are in service to the organization as well as the community and world at large. 

In my lifetime, I’ve had the chance to serve under only a very small number of great leaders.  But I know this to be true – when you do, it can be a life-changing experience.

So, what are your thoughts on the above leadership traits?  Does your view of great corporate leadership match mine?  I’d love to hear your thoughts. 

Which behavioral traits do you think are essential for an effective and compelling leader?  And how do you think men and women are different as corporate leaders? Thanks for sharing!

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Posted in Breakthroughs, Careers, Empowerment, Featured, Kathy Caprino, Leadership, Men vs. Women at Work, success, Women in Leadership | 4 Comments »

Mistake #3 – Letting the “Pendulum Effect” Rule My Life

Wednesday, January 5th, 2011

Hi Friends,

Happy to share my latest vblog on my Mistake #3 – Letting the “Pendulum Effect” Rule My Life – another installment of My 52 Mistakes.

This mistake is all about waiting too long to make change, resisting what is, then being devastating and jumping to the opposite extreme, only to discover the same yucky stuff awaits (because you haven’t done the inner and outer work to overcome these same challenges).

I’d love your thoughts.  Does the Pendulum Effect rule your life? And what have you done to stay more balanced and grounded rather than swinging from extreme to extreme?

Please send me a video blog or story of your own, and share it on the new facebook page for this project, My 52 Mistakes.  Thanks so much for commenting and spreading it along!

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Posted in Advice, Challenges, Empowerment, Featured, Inspiration for Change, Kathy Caprino, My 52 Mistakes | No Comments »

The 12 Hidden Crises of Entrepreneurial Women

Wednesday, November 24th, 2010

Several years ago I conducted a yearlong research study with over 100 working women across the country about professional crises in women and how we can reclaim our lives to overcome them.  I was astounded by the findings, and felt they were so universal and important for women, I wrote a book called Breakdown Breakthrough about these 12 crises, offering a three-step holistic model to break through these challenges once and for all.

Since the book came out in 2008, women from all over the country have written to me sharing sentiments such as, “You are writing to me, about me, and for me,” and “It’s as if you know exactly what I’m living and feeling!”  My research shows that 9 out of 10 working women are experiencing at least one of these 12 “hidden” crises, and on average, women are experiencing three at the same time!  And over half of these women don’t know what to do about it.

These 12 crises are not just tiny “bumps” in the road but full-out, serious challenges that are marked by chronic disempowered thinking and a serious lack of ability to move oneself forward in positive, powerful ways towards one’s goals and visions.

These 12 crises fall into four categories that represent how we relate to ourselves and the world. 

These four levels depict the nature of our:

  • Relationship with Ourselves
  • Relationship with Others
  • Relationship with the World
  • Relationship with Our Higher Selves

In general, each crisis is characterized by an “I can’t do this!” mantra, or some form of disempowered thinking, beliefs and actions.  The crises include:

  • “I can’t speak up for myself.”
  • “I can’t get out of this financial trap.”
  • “I can’t escape this crushing competition.”
  • “I can’t resolve my chronic health problems.”
  • “I don’t like who I’ve become.”
  • “I can’t use my real talents in my work.”
  • “I can’t balance life and work.”
  • “I can’t do work and play that I love.”

Entrepreneurial Women Face these Same Challenges

As I move forward with marketing consulting work for entrepreneurial women around the country, I’m finding that these same 12 crises are challenging women in their entrepreneurial ventures as well, and in the ways in which they view and run their businesses!

Entrepreneurial women are challenged on these same four levels:

Relationship With Themselves as Entrepreneurs 
Key issue: “Do I have what it takes to be a successful entrepreneur, and am I “good” or “smart” enough to run this business?”

Relationship With Others
Key issue: “How can I forge a mutually-beneficial and supporting relationship with clients, customers, colleagues, and peers?”

Relationship With The World
Key issue: “Am I using my real gifts and talents in this business, and is my business providing a service to the world that I care about delivering, that others need and want?”

Relationship With the Higher Self 
Key issue: “Does my business have a higher mission, vision and values that mean more  to me than simply making money?”

If you’re an entrepreneurial woman and are challenged with any of the above issues in your life and work, please know that there is indeed help out there for you, and these are very common challenges that entrepreneurial women face.  Also know that new thinking and actions can indeed shift you away from feeling disempowered and unable to tackle the issues at hand.  You can do this, and you can do it well, loving your work and thriving in the process. But you have to take action, and a kind of action that is different from what you normally would engage in.

There are four key steps to overcoming these types of challenges:

1. Step Back – to gain a fresh, empowered perspective of your situation and what it is telling you about what needs to change

2. Let Go – of the thinking, actions, and behaviors that are keeping you stuck and holding you back

3. Say Yes! – to your compelling future visions of your business and of your success as an entrepreneurial woman.

4. Create It – create a S.M.A.R.T. plan with concrete, measurable goals and action steps – and find someone to help you become accountable – for moving on your way to achieving your visions of success and fulfillment.

Try this experiment! Pick up a copy of my book Breakdown Breakthrough and read it.  (Commit to carving out a bit of time just for yourself over the holidays and read the chapters that really speak to you.)  As you read the book and the powerful stories and advice presented by women who have transformed their lives and work, focus specifically on the concepts and information that elicit a feeing of “resistance” in you – ideas or words that make you say to yourself, “Oh, I really don’t want to look at that,” or “That’s not me!”  Then take one, targeted action that will help you address the area you resist the most.

One of the most powerful concepts I learned in therapy training is, “What you resist, persists.”  Watch closely what you resist, because resistance is a sign that you’re overly attached to one particular view or approach, and you’ve closed yourself off from openly exploring other avenues.  I’ve found that the biggest breakthroughs, learning and growth come when we muster the courage to walk directly toward — and through — what we resist the most.

*  *  *  *  *

Let me know how the experiment works!  What is your deepest entrepreneurial struggle, and what did you learn when you mustered the courage to walk through your resistance to Say Yes! to yourself and your business.

Thank you for sharing, and wishing you many happy breakthroughs.

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Posted in Advice, Breakthroughs, Careers, Challenges, Empowerment, Inspiration for Change, Kathy Caprino, Marketing Support, success, Uncategorized, Wake Up Calls | No Comments »

Why Million-Dollar Coaching Promises Should Make You Leery

Friday, November 19th, 2010

“It is a mistake to look too far ahead. Only one link of the chain of destiny can be handled at a time.” – Winston Churchill

These past few years I’ve been connected with literally dozens of coaches who promise that, if you follow their work and their model, you’ll be a millionaire. 

 Really?

I’ve listened intently to numerous coaching teleseminars these past months about how to make a million dollars, and so many are all about the insider “secrets” to making seven figures, and if you follow their “five easy steps” (or whatever model they’re pitching), you too can do it easily and effortlessly.

I don’t know about you, but I’m up to my craw with these ridiculous promises.  Why do they annoy me so much?  Because they’re misleading and unethical, and leading thousands of people down a path that is clearly not in their best interest.

I’m not saying that people can’t make a million dollars in their coaching practice, or other forms of business, and I’m not saying that there aren’t some great coaches out there who help people reach the million-dollar mark and higher. 

I am saying that there are many more ineffective, self-serving coaches who aren’t capable of helping you reach your high goals.  If you’re broke, and are told you can go from that to a millionaire in a year because you’re following this one coach’s program (and not doing all the inner and outer work it truly takes to be abundantly successful), then you’ll be sorely disappointed and waste a great deal of time and money in the process.

Here’s the rundown of my serious complaints about so many “millionaire” coaches:

Often millionaire coaches end up telling you exactly how they made their million, and recommend that you should follow their “five easy steps”.  However, my many years of training as a therapist, coach, marketing and business exec, writer and researcher of women tell me that:

  1. Easy Steps aren’t the ones that bring about life change: If it were easy, you’d be doing it!  What brings about massive shifting and change is the challenging stuff – the actions that make us fearful or take us WAY out of our comfort zone.  And “easy” steps are not necessarily easy or right or aligned with everyone.  Offering specific “easy” tactics to help people make more money is fine as far as it goes, but it’s not far enough without helping the individual identify specifically the powerful internal shifts they need to make to bring about far greater success.
  2. Broke to Millionaire – it’s doable, but I can tell you, if you’re flat broke, and are given a promise you can make half a million next year, it’s misleading at best, devastatingly off-track at worst.  The reason for that is that we all operate on a level that we’re comfortable at right now, and launching yourself 10 levels higher doesn’t typically work.  What does work is slow and steady progress to the next level higher, then the next and the next, and continuing that process with vigilance and commitment.
  3. Cookie-cutter models are ineffective – A cookie-cutter model to generate a million dollars in revenue is absurd.  To make seven figures, you have to power yourself up in ways that you don’t even realize right now – in your mindset, beliefs, actions, offerings, sense of worth, expectations, financial planning savvy, boundaries, self-advocacy, and in your relationship with money and success.  And you don’t do that by following someone else’s basic tactical strategy.  You do that through intently focused inner and outer work that brings you – step by step, day by day – to a new place that is right for you specifically.
  4.  These promises are entirely self-serving – These millionaire coaches want you to think it’s easy to follow their plan and succeed, because that’s how they make their millions!  Signing people up for programs that cost thousands of dollars, when in many cases the individual being coached can’t possibly recoup those thousands of dollars that year (or in the several years to come) given their mindset, capabilities (at the moment), and business model—that’s just plain wrong.

I come from a perspective of social and ethical consciousness, so seeing these promises being made in sleek and sleazy teleseminars and long-copy marketing pages – the whole thing makes my head spin.  They talk about offering high value and content in the teleseminar, but literally 60% of the seminar is selling their next event (using a cookie-cutter marketing approach for selling events!).

About money – I’ve made six figures in many years throughout my career, and I know what it takes to do it, and it’s not “5 Easy Steps.”  In winning the Make Mine a Million Dollar Business “Micro to Millions” program award in 2008, that one event in my life stepped up my goals and visions for my company significantly, and took me to new heights overnight.  Of course you can power up your career and your business and make great money – and a million dollars is within your reach if the necessary events, factors and ingredients are there, but it’s not through an easy five-step coaching model.

If you too are tired of (and disgusted with) these empty, over-simplistic and grandiose claims and selling tactics, you’re not alone!!  And don’t worry – you’re not being resistant or pushing away your millions to say that that these coaches and messages turn you way off.  There are other ways and means (and empowering mentors, coaches and consultants) who can truly help you achieve what you long for.

The key is in discernment – figure out how to tell the difference between a flashy, self-serving promise (that makes the process sound far easier than it is) vs. a heart-felt commitment to your success — with the intellectual, spiritual and ethical chops to make it work for you. Find helpers who wish to be of true service in helping you become exactly what you want to be in the world.

Thanks for listening to my rant!  And PLEASE share – are you tired of these empty, vacuous and absurd promises?  I’d love to hear.

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Posted in Advice, Careers, Challenges, Empowerment, Inspiration for Change, Kathy Caprino, Living Real, Marketing Support, success, Women in Business | No Comments »

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