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Tag Archives: Kathy Caprino

Why You’ve Hit a Career Wall, and What To Do About It

 

Throughout the past ten years of career success coaching, I’ve become deeply committed to “scaling transformation” – finding new ways to help not just a handful of people each month, but thousands, and assist them in figuring out what they really want to do with their careers or businesses, and making it a reality.

I’ve learned that bringing about large scale transformation requires helping people complete the puzzle of their lives, assembling the pieces together so that they can honor all that has happened to them from birth on, and leverage exactly who they are and amplify those talents and abilities. When done right, the puzzle is truly beautiful – it becomes a unique, powerful and thrilling picture of why they’re on this planet now and what they’re longing to create and achieve.

The challenge to this, however, is unearthing exactly what holds them back from a happier life and more a satisfying professional focus, and offering practical, tailored, and realistic steps to get them unstuck. Another deeper challenge is helping individuals modify what’s necessary in their mindset and behavior to become more confident, courageous and capable of pursuing the direction of their dreams.

As a start, I’ve launched a 16-week online course, the Amazing Career Project, and we’re in Week 6 right now, with 75 courageous and committed members. What I’m seeing with members of this course validates everything I’ve learned in my 30-year career (and through my own career walls and reinventions) about why we stay stuck and miserable, and why so many millions of people won’t budge out of their unhappiness, ever.

I’ve observed six personal blocks that lead straight to a career wall.  These six personal blocks are:

1. Messages and experiences from your past keep you stuck.

Literally every single person I’ve worked with in some capacity (that’s over 10,000 people now) has had things happen in their lives that have ground them to a halt at some point. Whether it’s an abusive father, a controlling spouse, an alcoholic mother, a tragedy that shaped them, negative messages they received from authority figures or trauma from a painful work experience — everyone on this planet seems to have had extremely challenging experiences that altered them. The question then isn’t “Have you had deep challenges?” but “How have you processed these experiences and what have you interpreted about life and about yourself from them?” Most of us, sadly, don’t learn the right lessons from our experiences and come away feeling crushed, “less than” and defeated by these events.

Tip: If the lessons you’ve learned from your challenges suppress, limit and exhaust you, they’re the wrong lessons.

2. You don’t really believe that you’re worth more than this unhappiness.

Another personal block is a deep lack of a sense of worthiness. Women upon women I’ve worked with have shared that they really don’t feel worthy of an amazing life, and more than that, they don’t feel worthy of putting their needs and desires first.

The reality is that takes a good deal of time, effort, commitment (and in many cases an investment of money and resources) to build a fabulous life. If everyone else in your life is getting your love, energy and nurturing except you, you’ll never move forward. You’ll just never make it happen for yourself if you’re the last person on the planet who is getting your attention.

Tip: Start putting yourself first for a change and address your own needs and desires if you want an amazing career.

3. You don’t understand how to differentiate between the “essence” of what you want vs. the right “form.”

In my Career Path Self-Assessment survey (which offers deep and revealing clues as to where you’re stuck), I see over and over that what people fantasize about in terms of new careers are actually NOT the right roles for them because they don’t fit other key criteria necessary for success. For instance, they dream about being a:

  • Therapist or social worker
  • Restaurant owner
  • Dancer (or singer, actor, voiceover artist, painter, etc.)
  • Non-profit founder
  • Teacher
  • Massage therapist
  • Travel writer
  • Author

…etc.

Most people know nothing about the professional identity of their fantasy careers, and they‘re not able to distinguish between endeavors that will truly make them happy as a paying profession vs. hobbies that will bring them joy. For instance, launching a startup sounds glamorous, but it takes so much more work, grit and risk-tolerance than people understand.

They fantasize about these jobs because of the “essence” they believe these roles represent, such as helping others, moving the needle on an important cause, teaching and inspiring others, healing, etc. These are great goals in life, certainly, and meaningful ones, but not every dream of ours is the right professional direction for us.

We can find ways to bring the desired essence into our lives a million different ways other than assuming the professional identities listed above. You have to be able to figure out the right “form” (job and role) that will not only give you the essence of what you want, but also will fit your personality, your values and approach to living along with all the other needs and desires you have (including financial, spiritual and behavioral needs).

Tip: Look at your list of fantasy jobs. Identify the “essence” that these represent, then brainstorm 10 different ways to bring that essence into your life.

4. You don’t recognize that you’re depressed.

Additionally, so many people in unhappy careers are actually depressed. When you’re depressed, you don’t have the capacity to envision a happier direction, or find the energy to make it a reality. Or, often you’re looking for a quick fix or a magic bullet to feel better, and more fulfilled.  So many of the people I’ve spoken to this year who desperately want a new career are struggling with some form of depression, and they’re not alone. Nearly one in 12 Americans suffer from depression. Almost 8% of Americans aged 12 and older were moderately to severely depressed during 2009 to 2012 but only slightly more than one third of those suffering from severe depression seek treatment.

To know if this is you, read this list of symptoms. If these represent your state and your experience right now, it’s time for therapeutic support to help you navigate through your depression and feel better. (Visit the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy and find a therapist near you.)

Tip: As a trained therapist I can tell you that depression is real and not something to be ignored. Don’t just sweep it under the rug. Get help to feel better. And if traditional talk therapy doesn’t move you forward, explore alternative approaches to healing.

5. You don’t know how to leverage what you know and use that to launch to next level.

A fabulous career is created by leveraging all that you are, know and experienced. It’s not about running from pain and suppressing what you hate, or pretending it doesn’t exist. It requires that you marry up all the skills, talents, capabilities and passions you have, and find a new direction that will make great use of these abilities. When you’re looking for the best direction that will make you thrilled to be alive, start with a fearless inventory of who you are and what you have to offer the world.

Tip: The happiest careers use all that you are and all that you’ve learned. Don’t leap off the cliff trying to be someone you’re not.

6. You want everything right now, and aren’t willing to do the real, hard work of building a fabulous life.

Finally, I’ve seen thousands of people who want it all – an enormous salary, great flexibility, total control of their time, a fabulous lifestyle, and great meaning in their work, yet aren’t willing to change anything about themselves or their lives to get it. They want all the joys and passion of a calling, along with the stability and financial security of a job. Forget that.

Do you “deserve” everything you want? Yes, but you can’t have everything you want if you’re not committed to doing the work on yourself, and in the world, to make it a reality.

If you’re unhappy with your life now, but won’t change yourself, then nothing in your life will ever change.

Tip: If you think your new career will heal all that has gone wrong before and all that hurts in your life, you’re asking too much of a career. Your career is a natural outgrowth of all that you are, not a replacement for it. If you desperately want more happiness in your work, you first have to access more happiness in yourself, despite what’s around you.

(To build an exciting, rewarding and successful career, visit my Career Breakthrough Programs, The Amazing Career Project, and read my book Breakdown, Breakthrough.)

6 Ways to Identify What You Love, And Build a Rewarding, Lucrative Career Around It

The world around you will change only

 

June 2nd was my birthday, and when that day comes each year, I focus on doing a few things well: spend it with people I adore, reflect back on the year and see clearly the key lessons I need to learn from it, and finally, relish what’s appeared in my life and be grateful for it.

Towards that end, I’m deeply thankful for not only the achievements and happy experiences, but also the terribly hard pitfalls that tripped me up and pushed me to my knees, as these ultimately cleared the pathway to what I really enjoy doing in my life and work. Transforming from a very unhappy 18-year corporate career to a highly fulfilling life as a career coach, writer and business owner, and also figuring out how to make money pursuing my deepest passions, I’ve learned that it can be very hard to see things clearly for yourself – and take empowered action — when you’re lost in the muck and the mud.

Of all the questions I receive from folks desperately longing to change careers, the one that stumps them the most is this:

“Kathy, how do I figure out what my core passion, then build a lucrative career around it?”

After all, we all want to do what we’re passionate about, but we don’t want to go broke and lose everything pursuing it, right? (Here are what I believe are the top 8 reasons why people go broke pursuing their dreams.)

Personally speaking, years ago I faced deep financial challenges doing work I loved, and then figured out exactly why, and I teach those principles now. And I’ve answered this question in many other posts, videos, exercises and homework assignments (and in my Amazing Career Project online course). But I’d like to take a different tack today and offer six ways to identify what will make you happy to focus on in your career, then generate the great income you need and want from it.

To figure out what your mission and passion are:

Don’t just look at who you are today, but who you’ve always been.

I’ve seen through my clients’ revelations that who we are (what we care about, what we’re drawn to, what enlivens us) often emerges very early in life. For most of us, there were glaring signs and clues of our essential happiest selves in our teen and young adult years, and even earlier. Even if your parents suppressed your gifts and talents, you knew and felt they were there. But sadly, we don’t recognize these signs. We don’t see our own special talents, interests, gifts and exciting areas of focus as important or unique.

Tip: To tap into the awe-inspiring aspects of who you are and always will be, take some time over the next week to make a thorough inventory of everything you’ve ever loved and cared about when you were young and in your 20s. Then, spend some time thinking about what’s remained a constant in your life – what you still care about deeply and are drawn to – and develop new ideas for how to bring your gifts, talents or areas of passion forward more prominently in your life today.

Identify the skills you love to use.

One of the toughest lessons I’ve learned was the idea that just because you’re great at something doesn’t mean you should build a career around it. I realized late in life that I had become good at a number of tasks in my 18-year corporate career (such as presenting to a boardroom of senior executives on my programs’ P&L’s, or selling major bank clients on working with us in multimillion-dollar marketing campaigns) but I actually intensely disliked this work.

Tip: Think back on every job you’ve ever had – what you loved, hated, your biggest accomplishments, hardest lessons and, finally, what you want to bring forward from those experiences in a deeper way in your career now. Then do some critical research about jobs and careers that will allow you to draw on the specific skills and talents you love to use.

Figure out who you really want to help.

In my own business now, I use many of the same marketing and communications skills that I developed throughout my corporate career. But the biggest difference is that I’m using these skills and talents now for a completely different purpose and cause, one that I really care about — helping others who need support to build careers they love. In my previous corporate life, I felt that my talents and time were being utterly wasted on promoting meaningless products that contributed no real value to the world. Back then, it was all about the “bottom line,” and I wished the bottom line was focused on something more than just money.

You’ll find that if don’t believe in the outcomes you’re being asked to work toward, you’ll never enjoy your professional life. You’ll feel wasted, spent, lost and miserable.

Tip: Figure out as concretely and specifically as possible who you want to help, and the outcomes you wish to support in your work. Then, start networking extensively to help you land a role (or launch a business) that will give you the chance to support those causes and areas that most matter to you.

Now…how do you build a lucrative career around your passions?

Millions of people today believe that following your passions will break and ruin you. I’ve seen throughout my 10 years of career success coaching, however, that this is just a terribly misguided myth. Following your passions is not a recipe for failure, IF you do the right things (but so many people don’t). Here are three most powerful steps:

Learn how to monetize what you’re fabulous at.

My husband is a jazz percussionist, composer and music educator, and the world he’s immersed in is filled with an enormous array of incredible artists, creatives and highly gifted individuals. Some are extremely successful financially, but sadly, many others aren’t. I’ve seen that so many creatives (singers, filmmakers, painters, actors, jewelers, designers, sculptors, etc.) are amazing at their artistic talents, but aren’t clear on how to monetize their work and talents – how to promote and broadcast them, and create a fierce demand for what they do. Often, gifted individuals feel the world “owes” them because they’re so talented. But that’s not the way the world works. You have to identify what you’re fabulous at, illustrate why that’s important to the world, then find ways to be of service to others with your talents so that people (and organizations) are happy to pay richly for what you bring that enhances their goals and visions.

Tip: It’s not enough to be fabulous. Take the time to find new ways to be of service to others with your great talents. This week, brainstorm 30 new ways you can use and apply your immense talents to help others succeed and organizations grow and flourish. Then start sharing your vision for helping others with everyone you know, and asking people to connect you with others who might be helpful to speak with.

Build the necessary confidence to believe that you can earn great money.

I’ve seen firsthand that without confidence, you don’t make the right decisions and take the right actions to bring money and reward your way. And we’re not born with confidence – it’s BOLD action that generates confidence. To build a lucrative career, you have to be able to communicate confidently, and in compelling ways – not with arrogance and egotism, but in a way that illustrates clearly why people should hire you, and utilize your special skills. If you can’t speak and share with courage and confidence how you stand apart from the competition and why what you do is critical, you simply won’t move forward to earning sufficient income. And you won’t earn what you deserve.

Tip: As a start, read Peggy Klaus’ great book BRAG: The Art of Tooting Your Own Horn Without Blowing It, and develop your own “bragologues” so you can share with others why your work is powerful, needed, and important. And if you feel your work isn’t yet at the highest level, do something about it this year to reach the next level of expertise.

If you’re very stuck, get outside help (and it’s all around you).

Finally, if all of these steps are too challenging for you, or you’re still left feeling dazed, confused, and paralyzed, there’s likely more going on within you than you realize that is keeping you stuck. Among the thousands of folks I’ve worked with, a solid majority have some form of financial or emotional block, and/or trauma left over from past experiences that they haven’t yet healed or addressed. And these blocks do stop you in your tracks.

This describes me in my former life – I was stuck because my boundaries were insufficient, my understanding of my talents was poor, I was angry and resentful, and I was rudderless – unsure what I cared about and how to find work that mattered.  And I hadn’t recognized the need for inspiring role models, mentors and sponsors. Once I figured all that out, the path was cleared (but, of course, there is always internal and external work that needs to be done to continue to reach the level you long to). Therapy and coaching were essential for me to see what I couldn’t on my own.

Tip: If no matter what you do or what job you pursue, you’re unhappy and unsuccessful, it’s time to get some outside help – in some cases career coaching will help, in others it’s therapeutic support that’s needed (vist aamft.org for great therapeutic support in your area). And role models, mentors and sponsors are critical. As Einstein said so powerfully, “We cannot solve a problem on the level of consciousness that created it.” It’s very hard to see clearly what’s holding you back from the life you dream of, especially when the block is you.

Here’s Why We Remain Stuck In Careers We Hate – 8 Essential Reasons

 

Speaking with people every day who are in careers or jobs they hate, I’ve asked myself, “How did we get here?  How has it happened that so many thousands of people have become despondent, angry and lost about what they do for a living?”

Clearly, there are many factors at play here, including the rise of technology – that makes setting boundaries around our professional lives virtually impossible.  Further, in the past 30 years, we’ve become slaves to the almighty dollar, addicted to acquiring things we can’t afford, which keeps us working longer and harder just to break even.  And, the cost of living is so high for so many, that just making ends meet is tough.  Additionally, many people have jumped into jobs or fields early in their careers, only to discover 10 or 20 years later that they can’t break free.

But I believe there are even deeper reasons for this epidemic of people hating what they do each day for their living.  These reasons touch on underlying emotional, spiritual and behavioral conditions, and reveal a deep disconnection to what it means to live joyfully, authentically, and meaningfully.

By the way, I’m fully prepared to receive comments on this post that debunk it, such as: “Yeah sure, Kathy, you can talk about having a meaningful career, but I’m a single parent with two kids and can’t afford the luxury of liking my work.”

Or:

“This is nonsense – work is work, and you should change your expectations if you think you’re going to love it.”

I’ve heard these types of comments by the hundreds.

I learned as a therapist that when people feel completely stuck, they get angry and defensive – like a caged animal.  They experience themselves as victimized and backed into a tight, dark corner.  They just can’t see a way out.  But from my vantage point (and after reinventing my career from miserable corporate VP to supremely fulfilled coach, consultant and business owner), there is always a way out; there are always new options and solutions but often we just can’t see them.  Anyone and everyone can make their lives better, more satisfying, more enjoyable, but only if you believe that having more fulfillment or joy in your life or career is a goal worth trying for and within your reach (eventually).

Based on feedback I’ve received from thousands of professionals here and abroad, I’ve observed the following eight core reasons why people remain stuck in careers they hate.  As I share these, please know I’m not sitting in judgment of any of these; in fact, I’ve lived through each and every one of these conditions.

1. You don’t know yourself deeply enough

The vast majority of people I see in the workplace just don’t know themselves at all.  When asked, “What’s your top priority in life and in your career?  What would you give up anything for?” or “When you’re 90 looking back, what do you want to have done, been, and left behind? ” I get blank stares and mouths hanging open.  People don’t know themselves well or deeply today.  Why?  Perhaps we don’t make time in our lives to get to know ourselves – we’re just too over-the-top busy.  Or perhaps the process of knowing oneself deeply is intimidating and scary.  Whatever the reason – if you don’t know who you are, at your core, and what you stand for and care about, how can you lead a life that aligns with your needs, values, and interests? (My free Career Path Self-Assessment will help you get to know yourself better.)

2. You know yourself, but you make yourself wrong

I’ve seen that women in particular might know themselves and identify what they want, but they make themselves wrong about it.  They tell themselves, “Yeah, I want to change, but I’m wrong or foolish (or selfish) to feel that way.”  Or “I’m lucky to have a job, so I shouldn’t rock the boat” or “I have so much – I should just feel blessed and not complain.”  So many people (women in particular) doubt the validity of their feelings or repress their deepest longings because they think they’re wrong to have them.  Until you can make yourself “right” about what you feel, you won’t find peace or joy.

3. You’ve lost the courage to act

For many who know what they want, they’ve lost the courage to take BOLD action.  We’ve been seduced by some misguided concept that life should always be easy.  Where did we get that idea?  Making change is never easy (it’s scary and threatens the status quo), but it’s so worth it, especially if you hate where you are today. It takes courage, grit, and commitment to bring about lasting change, and you can do it, but only if you decide to connect to your own internal power, courage and fortitude.  (Check out my book Breakdown Breakthrough for real-life stories of courageous women who’ve transformed their lives and careers.)

4. You’ve prioritized outer “rewards” (or other people’s needs) over your own happiness

This reason is yours if you can answer “Yes” to this question: “Are you staying in a career that makes you miserable solely because you think it’s the only one that will keep paying you what you want?”  If money is keeping you stuck, it’s time you think about prioritizing your happiness over your checkbook.  How much money do you truly need?  Is your current lifestyle so important to you that you’d trade it over your health, happiness, relationship, and your well-being?  Of course you have to pay your bills and meet your financial obligations – I’m not suggesting for a minute that you don’t.  I am however recommending that you revisit how you live and what you truly need.  Meeting your financial obligations doesn’t have to mean that you have to be angry, thwarted, unhappy and sick for the rest of your life.

5. You’ve been brainwashed by the myth that you’ll go broke if you pursue work you love

There’s a prevalent myth in the U.S. today that if you pursue your passions and do rewarding work, you’ll go broke. Another version of this damaging myth is that work is supposed to be grueling, challenging and unsatisfying.  We look at people who love their work and we hate them.  We say, “Yeah, she’s doing what she wants to, but that’s because she was (lucky, born into it, inherited money, beautiful, privileged, etc.)  And I can’t do that because ___.”  We give ourselves thousands of reasons why loving what we do professionally just isn’t in the cards for us.  We do that because it’s too painful for us to watch other people thrive and adore their work.  We want it to be impossible because it seems so unattainable and so far away from us.

6. Your emotional overwhelm sabotages you

Every day I see individuals who are highly competent, smart, achievement oriented and outwardly successful, but are in terrible emotional overwhelm – they’re gripped by anxiety, fear, feeling victimized, and they lack the ability to speak up authoritatively or with command.  They’re in a constant state of paralyzing emotional overwhelm.  The emotionality of their lives keeps them from reasoning through effective solutions and strategies, or finding the physical energy to make a change.

7. Your shame and vulnerability keep you from getting help

One of my favorite author/speakers – Brene Brown – is a shame and vulnerability researcher (don’t miss her great TED Talk here.)  She shares her findings that vulnerability is at the heart of living life full out.  If we’re afraid of appearing and feeling vulnerable, then we blunt all of the other experiences/emotions we desperately long for, including happiness, connection, empathy, love and more. Further, if you need to appear the “expert” and won’t admit your flaws, foibles, or “gaps,” you’ll never get the help you need to make life change.  As Einstein has said, “You can’t solve a problem on the level of consciousness that created it.”

8. You’ve forgotten what career bliss, and true happiness, feel like

Finally, the most depressing reason of all is that you’ve simply forgotten what it feels like to be happy and joyful in your work.  You can’t remember the last time you said about your work, “That was a great day well spent!”  or “What a joy to do this work!” We all strive so hard to achieve, win, or survive – and we’re so beaten down by it — that many have lost touch with what true joy feels and looks like, and we’ve forgotten to want it.

If any of these reasons resonate for you, there’s only one choice to make – stay put in your misery or make a bold change. It’s truly that simple – not easy, certainly, but simple.

What choice will you make – a career you hate or something better?

(To build a successful, rewarding career you love, join me today in my Amazing Career Project career transformation program.)

How To Tell When Your Gut Is Leading You Astray

 

Recently, I conducted an interview with Herminia Ibarra around the idea that being overly attached to your own authenticity may in fact be holding you back. A controversial idea for sure, it explores that if we’re too wedded to what we have been and who we think we are now, we’ll perhaps be too afraid of and resistant to stretch beyond that concept, because it doesn’t feel like the “real” us to stretch beyond our existing self-definition. I’m a huge fan of authenticity, because I was so constrained in my former corporate life and felt I simply couldn’t be real, transparent and honest, ever. But I see what Herminia means and have to agree.

In fact, I believe that the same problem exists with regard to following our “gut instincts.” I’m not talking here about hard-wired human survival instincts, but about the natural, intuitive way of acting or thinking that each of us has personally developed through the specific experiences of our lives. Other words for the type of instinct I’m talking about are: natural tendency, inclination, urge, drive, compulsion, hunches, and your gut “feeling.”

Regarding these instincts, there are times when our gut is right on, and tells us accurately what to avoid — or pursue — in order to grow and thrive. But often, our instincts are not the best signals to follow, in isolation. They may tell us to run like the wind away from new, stretching experiences and opportunities that are “perceived” threats but in fact would bring us to a higher level of success, satisfaction and reward. Sometimes, you experience the same level of fear and high alert when contemplating significant positive change as you would if you were in a potentially life-threatening situation. Our instincts try to keep us safe and secure, but “safe” in our lives and livelihoods can often bring misery, pain and suffering. My instincts told me to “tough it out, Kathy!” and “C’mon, be a survivor!” and “You’re weak if you give up too soon,” or “Don’t let them get the better of you,” during the very tough times in my corporate career. Sadly, those instincts guided me on a long detour that took years to recover from.

What should we do then? How can we know when we should we follow our instincts, disregard them completely, or balance them with other signals?

I’ve seen that when 6 conditions are present, you need to be extra vigilant to avoid blindly following what your gut tells you to do, and instead, weigh all the other important factors before you make a decision.

These 6 conditions are:

You’re deathly afraid to stretch beyond where you are today.

I’ve connected with literally thousands of professionals in the past 10 years as a coach and a therapist, and I cannot count the times I’ve heard people say “I’m scared to make change.” The “what if” syndrome keeps so many planted firmly in one place, paralyzed, until a crisis hits like a cosmic 2×4’ across their faces and wakes them up. Human beings naturally want to grow and become more, but our fears, insecurities and anxieties can thwart that process. If you want more in your life and livelihood, but find yourself afraid to move, then listen to your heart and your mind as well as your gut. Say “yes” to stretching.

You don’t know yourself or what you want, so your gut says “Stay put!”

If you don’t know yourself – what you want, what you care about, who you are uniquely and what you have to offer the world (in short, if you’re walking unconsciously through life), then your natural intuitive reactions aren’t going to help you, because they’re not based on the authentic you, but on some smaller version that you’ve been taught to see. You’ll miss the real clues about the real life you want to live. Once you open your mind up to the possibility that you deserve better than unhappiness, disrespect or lack of fulfillment, and then dimensionalize for yourself what a happier life and career would be, your instincts can start supporting you better. You have to understand more about what you value and care about, and what gives your life meaning and what you deserve. You need to create a map. But if you remain unconscious and oblivious, your instinctive way of behaving won’t take you in a positive direction.

You have an intense negative reaction to an individual, and think you know why (but actually you don’t).

I’ve had this experience numerous times recently, until I finally “got it.” Just because you have an intensely negative reaction to someone doesn’t necessarily mean you should run from them, or shun them. Sometimes it means that they’re “perturbing your system” – agitating you, clashing with your worldview or values, and threatening the way you think and feel. And sometimes you’re intimidated and jealous but you just don’t want to admit it. When this happens, it’s a sign that your worldview and thinking need some expansion or revision. Your discomfort and agitation with people who are very different from you – or with people who are 10 steps ahead of you in ways you’re envious of — need examining. In these cases, it’s helpful to look more deeply at what specifically threatens and disturbs you, to make sure your bruised and fragile ego isn’t getting in the way.

You’re driven to say “yes” to a terrible job or career move solely because of the money.

Many career professionals come to coaching confused about how to decide on a number of alternatives in front of them. They haven’t formulated a solid decision making process for themselves, so they’re thinking they’ll just go with their gut. The problem is, they’re so consumed with financial worries that their gut tells them to “Take the money!!” even when there are a million other signs that this next move or job would be a disaster, and even when they have other better options in front of them. If you’re in terrible financial straits, or have deep, long-standing fear and trauma over money, you need to address your money challenges in an empowered way, quickly. The answer isn’t to take a terrible job that you’ll fail at or lose. The answer is to strengthen your financial management skills and your overall relationship with money so that you can create more financial stability, which in turn will pave the way for more positive outcomes and opportunities.

You fear that “there will never be anything better than this, so I have to settle.”

I remember when I was a young adult, I was in a relationship I wasn’t happy with, but I was afraid to break up with my boyfriend for fear that no one would love me as he did.  I asked my beloved father what to do. He said something I’ll never forget: “Kathy, if you’re staying with him only because you think you’ll never experience a happier relationship, then it’s time to go. Don’t settle.” That was the best advice he ever gave me. If your gut is telling you to settle and compromise in your life or career because you’re afraid you don’t deserve something better or won’t ever get it, then your “instincts” have been programmed with the wrong input.

You’re driven to leap to new direction and run away – chucking everything because of the pain you’re in.

Finally, if you’re in a lot of pain and anguish over your current job, career or professional situation, you might be driven to just quit and run – chuck it all, walk away and never look back.  What I learned in my therapy training, however, is that this wish to run is called “emotional cutoff” – attempting to manage our unresolved emotional issues with family members and colleagues by reducing or totally cutting off emotional contact with them. The problem is, if you haven’t learned how to deal with these situations in a more positive way, they will very likely repeat themselves again and again, until you do. The better solution is to find new ways to improve your situation and relationships right now – today. Whether it’s a toxic boss, being passed over for a promotion, having your ideas ignored, or feeling undervalued – start behaving differently in your work and taking empowered, authoritative steps to rectify these situations in a strong, confident way. If you don’t, these painful situations will re-emerge in the next role.

What is your gut telling you to do now, and what other signals should you be heeding?

(To learn when NOT to listen to your gut but to stretch boldly instead, join me in my free webinar training Fast Track To Career Bliss.)

23 Quotes to Inspire Joy

 

This year, working with my wonderful marketing partner Jayme Johnson of Worthy Marketing Group  (who’s an amazingly talented artist and designer) I’ve had a ball letting my creative juices flow a bit more, and designing photo images with quotes all aimed to help you tap into your creativity, your gifts and talents, and your passions, and share them with the world.

Here’s a compilation of my latest quotes. I hope you enjoy reading them as much as I enjoyed co-creating them!

 

Here’s to inspiring more joy, boldness and fulfillment in your life and work. It’s YOUR time.

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